Crush Attack? It's back!

Finally. But, of course, with complications.

Skully and I are friends. Truth be told, we may or may not have hooked up before he left for Australia in December but I know that things would never work out with us however I do enjoy hanging out with him.

Skully asked if I wanted to meet him and his friends (all guys except for 1 girl) for dinner last week. There was a guy there, Saf (South African), that I met a month prior at a mutual friend's birthday party and we both recognized each other. Skully and I caught up by the bar while we waited for our table and I learned that he was living with a girl he started seeing before he left for Oz. He's one of those guys that can't be alone. There were about 10 people at dinner all Australian except for Saf and I and we sat near each other and enjoyed witty banter. He's extremely funny and very cute. Extremely outdoorsy - he rode his bike to the pub. The only downfall is that he's one of Skully's really good friends that I've heard stories about and in which I'm sure he's heard (sexual) stories of me.

After dinner, we all went to the pub and Saf and I chatted away the rest of the night. I felt like I could be myself and I could also tell that he was hanging on my words just as much as I was hanging on his. The only problem was when I made it known that I was maybe interested in Saf to Skully after he made a comment that Saf was single. He said he still had feelings for me and that that would be weird and I gave the rebuttal that he LIVED with someone so therefore had no say. He said he would have to learn how to be my friend. A couple of awkward comments were thrown into the mix by him for added measure but Saf and I pretended to ignore it and I said repeatedly to the group that Skully and I were just friends. Skully took me aside said that I would have to ask Saf out for coffee (because apparently he's shy...which I didn't see at all) and that I would have to wait 3 dates for the first kiss. I'm not sure if he is trying to detour me (which it didn't besides having to ask him out...neg) but I can only imagine what he's saying to Saf. I can't stop thinking about him, which is a welcome distraction and I just wanted to be around him the whole night and can't wait to be around him again.

It turns out that there is a party on Saturday that these guys are also invited to. I made sure to let Saf know that I was going and that they should all go along. So we'll see. I don't know if I should be the one to initiate since I dated his friend or what. Mandy says I should just say we should hang out sometime...

I guess what I'm asking is, what's the rule for dating your ex-boyfriend's friend and how do you go about doing it?

Time...it flys

Wow...I didn't realize how long it was since I last posted. I guess I've been busy but not sure what I've been doing.

Anyway, the big flat warming party is on Friday and I can't wait to get my flirt on! Crush #2 has now moved to the Crush #1 spot and hopefully by the end of the night he will have his much deserved nickname and stick around in this little story! Mr. Bean is still in the running but I'm digging #2 more these days... (my friend saw his friend give Crush #2 a chin/head nod when I entered the diner last week - it's the little things people)!

I think I have the Shadow thing under control and one of my friend's has offered to do damage control when he tries to get up in my Kool Aid.

Hope all is well in your worlds and I know I'll have plenty to report after the party and pics of the new place - promise!

Giddy in my Girliness

I finally saw Crush #2 today as I was walking out to lunch (I haven't seen him in almost a month). He was standing with a group of people and I felt him see me while I waited my turn to swipe out of the turnstile. I passed by him and said hi with a wave then left with my friends. I was hoping he would go to the same restaurant with his friends but he didn't. I was kicking myself for not making more conversation but there really were a lot of people standing around so it would have been a little much.

Anyway, 3pm rolled around and I got an email from him in response to my flat warming party that my flatmate and I are having in 2 weeks. I sent the mass email on the 23rd of June before I went on holiday and so that people (read: my crushes) could put it on there calendar. He said he "plans to be there!" and "thanks for the kind invitation" - would sound gay coming from any other guy but so decidedly English I flipping love it! I wrote back "cool...glad you can make it!".

I already knew he was coming because one of my friend's brought up my party yesterday to him in conversation and he said "oh I'm definitely going to that" which said friend immediately reported back to me! But it feels good to get confirmation from the actual source today!

Mr. Bean will also be in attendance which I'm excited about as well. And also the Shadow which, you know, I'm not. But it should be interesting how I juggle the two (three) that evening.

Don't worry I'm going to play it very cool in this next dating/whatever-this-is endeavour. I feel like I've learned lessons in sharing too much and doing "things" too early that I'm ready for a clean slate...I don't know if Mr. Bean/Crush #2 and I will even click but they both make me nervous and that's always a good start!

Nosey

I'm back and right in the thick of getting back in the groove of work (boo!) but I promise to write soon about my travels (complete with pics and antics).

Honestly, I'm still recovering from Sunday when I managed to open my bedroom door INTO my nose...you know the one I just got operated on...before heading to the Goo Goo Dolls, Ben Harper and Counting Crows concerts at the O2 Festival - which were all awesome by the way. I did, however, look like Marsha Brady for a second and thought that I had effed everything up but it's slowly getting back to normal (or as normal as it was before the clumsiness)!

Also, seems that the Shadow still has NOT gotten the hint that I'm not interested in him, no matter how many times I do not reply back to his gazillion emails. He messaged me through Facebook (I would normally just delete him but we work together and it would be AWKWARD)while I was gone to say he hoped I had a good holiday and a happy 4th. Just creepy to know he was thinking about me so early in the morning and remembering my American holiday. So I didn't respond and decided it was time to add "Nate" as a friend for the Shadow to see and hopefully back off - he still comes by my desk for awkward conversations. Monday I found out that Crush #2 is now on his project and sitting right by him. I just hope the Shadow doesn't tell him I have a boyfriend and ruin my chances (whatever they may or may not be)!

My fake boyfriend's hot, no? :)

*Thanks to Mandy for editing out the Polo Ralph Lauren logo in the background...yeah he's also a model.

Anything goes

I met up with Harris on Saturday for some aquarium adventures and we had a good time looking at fish. We decided afterwards to grab a drink at a boat pub on the Thames since it was so nice out.

Mistake #1: Drinking on only a 6-inch Subway veggie pattie after going to the gym.

The conversation flowed like I knew it would and after my pint of Bulmers (delicious, highly potent cider), we headed to Chinatown for some much needed food.

Mistake #2: Trying to eat to soak up said alcohol while consuming half a bottle of wine does not help your situation and it makes the drunkenness much worse.

We chatted about who we are talking to/dating. I told him about Nate and his "problem" and he told me about how he's talking to his ex-girlfriend (she's back in Philly) but they are different religions so it's a problem for him. He said Nate's problem had nothing to do with me which was nice to hear.

Mistake #3: Deciding to go to yet another pub for more alcohol.

We talked about our hook up on my birthday. And the sexual tension continued. Innuendos flying left and right. Flirtiness. Highly inappropriate.

Mistake #4: Dancing.

We both love to dance and are actually move great together. This created a problem since the dancing was very suggestive. Hands were all over the place and we decided before things got more naughty to go back to my place. I should tell you that the tube stops running at 12.30 and since we had started drinking at 5pm, it was only 10.30pm when we went back to my place. Pathetic!

So clothes came off and things happened...not of the sexual nature (oral or otherwise) but you know...things. We both passed out and then like last time he was up at the butt crack of dawn putting his clothes on and getting the heck out of dodge. We had plans to go to the British Museum Sunday afternoon and decided we still should go.

So I took a nap and met him at 3pm at the Museum. Some slight awkwardness but we both knew that it wasn't going to work and that we should be friends. So we had a great day at the Museum and then shared a bottle of wine and sushi plus other drinks before parting ways. Things are fine and I might even see him this weekend for Karaoke but I'm past the random hook ups. I missed being held and having someone look into my eyes. I missed Nate.

*I should note that I hadn't spoken (read: texted) with Nate since Thursday so I sent him a friendly WTF? text from the last bar on Saturday night. Needless to say he was very confused and things went back and forth with him saying he was catching up with old friends and that it wouldn't be polite for him to be on the phone all the time and that he would talk to me the next day. I texted back Fine and then took Harris back to my place.

I feel bad about it but whatever we aren't exclusive so it's not like I cheated. Anyway, Nate texted me Sunday morning to see how my head was feeling after my day/night of drinking. I texted him back and told him I was sorry the alcohol got way ahead of me and that I totally understood about not texting while catching up with friends. I told him to enjoy the rest his trip and that I'd talk to him when he got back to London. We'll see if that happens. When I told Mandy the story, she said that I let the crazy out too soon but we both agreed I redeemed myself with the nonchalant text back.

Things are just messed up right now because I go home in a week for 2 1/2 weeks and I don't know how things are going to progress when he only likes texting and my UK cell phone will be out of commission.

I know I'm overanalyzing and freaking out but I can't help it, it's part of my nature!

I'm going to meet friends at the river again to enjoy Cinco de Mayo aka 1st Bank Holiday in May...because you know I need ANOTHER drink. Must start detox and diet tomorrow!

Frustrated

And now boys and girls we've reached the point in dating when frustration takes over.

Nate and I saw each other last night and watched the Liverpool vs. Chelsea match. Nate was hungry after and decided he wanted Subway which happened to be in my neighborhood. I suggested to Nate that he could eat it at my flat. Nate responded "Okay but I'm not going to be able to spend the night". This is the part where the record scratched and I stopped walking and said "I never said anything about that but we can go back to Subway and you can eat your sandwich if you want". Nate backpedaled and said he shouldn't have assumed that. Um yeah. Especially since there is still performance anxiety (yeah, I know but I'm giving it three strikes you're out). It's called...drumroll, please. Hanging. Out.

So Nate came over and ate his flipping sandwich and we chatted and then started kissing. And kissing. and kissing. Look Ma, no hands. Then Nate said he had to go otherwise he was never going to leave. So we hugged goodbye and he left. I watched him walk down the street from my window because it was slightly awkward when he left and I wanted to see if he was texting someone since he seemed slightly nervous and distracted. But nope. And I really don't think there is anyone else he's talking to...He did stop, turn and look up at my flat though...not sure if he saw my silhouette through the blinds or not.

Anyway, this weekend we have Monday off, so he's going to New Castle on Saturday morning until Monday afternoon. He knows that my weekend schedule has nothing planned for Friday (slightly done on purpose for hanging out with him but whateves) and neither does his. But did he ask me to do anything. No. I might have been a little passive aggressive on the effing text messaging tonight. "I guess have a good trip then..." to which he totally changed the subject. So I was sweet back and we ended it like we normally do with good nights and sleep wells.

I guess the weekend will tell how Nate feels about me and if he thinks about me on his trip.

In the meantime, I'm hanging out with Harris this weekend. Bonafide antics to follow. And trouble.

Just 'cause she dances loco...

Last night, Blake and I went to Nobu for his last supper (he left today for good). I think we all know that when I hang out with Blake debauchery is sure to follow and this was no exception. Needless to say, we had mojitos to start then shared a bottle of wine at dinner. We racked up quite a tab and Blake being Blake picked it up. Holla! :)

We ended up meeting up with Harris at a pub on Bond Street. I was just going to stay for couple of rounds but got persuaded to go with them to a strip club called Sophistikats. Blake played the "It's-my-last-night-and-we-won't-see-each-other-for-a-while" card. I'd never been (I've always wondered why men would want to get all hot and bothered and not be able to do anything about it!) and since I didn't want to miss out hanging out with Blake on his final night in London, I went along.

We walked in and I was immediately put at ease to see there were other fully clothed women, too! Phew! They were sitting next to the clientele of mostly businessmen but I quickly realized that they were actually the lap dance girls. WTF? We found our table and the guys told me I was a repellent for the dancers coming over. I got up to use the restroom and when I got back they were swarmed! The girls thought I was offended by them being at our table but we made sure to let them know I was just a friend. I asked each girl that come over for a lap dance (0 for me, 1 for Blake, 3 for Harris..WTF?) what perfume they were wearing because all of the girls smelled heavenly! Then 5 seconds later they'd be naked, gyrating on the floor for my friends. I just watched the main stage "showcase" when that happened! Note to self: must try Delicious by DKNY and Envy by Gucci. Anyway, the experience was different than I expected it to be (I was envisioning me being really uptight but I just became one of the guys) plus the music was the best ever!

We left at around 1am to find food before retreating to our respective homes and ended up at Burger King. Harris and I got this email from Blake this morning:

I could have gone out in style - my last meal in London was ALMOST the sashimi salad at Nobu.... But Noooooo - it had to be a Whopper and fries, with a side of Blue Balls.

To which I wrote back:

You might not have asked for the BK but you did however ask for the Blue Balls, yeah?

I miss him already!!!! I'm glad to know we both feel that every time we hang out we know it's going to be fun. He's one of my favorite people and we can tell each other anything. I can't wait to see him this summer when I meet him for trips on some weekends while he's in France.

PS. Harris was being very flirty and innuendo-y...remember we had a rendezvous at my birthday that nobody knows about, not even Blake...but I kept it in check. We texted today about how ill we felt and I called him out on being dirty in which he replied..."Yep, that's me...'three dance Harris'". At least he owns up to it!

Eejit

British for Idiot. Idiot who makes out with yet another coworker. Eejit.

Earlier in the week, Skully and I ran into each other in my building again. We chit chatted and he told me about his weekend and how he went to see the movie Stardust, not his decision. That triggered that he was still with his girlfriend so I thought what the hell, he and I can be friends and asked if he was going to the company happy hour for young professionals on Thursday. He didn't know anything about it so I forwarded him the info.

On Thursday I received an email from him very early in the morning asking when I was leaving work to go to the happy hour, how I was getting there, etc. I told him my plans and that if he wanted he could take the shuttle bus to my new building and ride the tube with us (my other friends that were going). I also told him that I was heading to his building to do some work and that I would probably see him there.

My old office that I was working in is secure so no one can get in unless they have access, so as I was walking back to the front I could see Skully peering into my office. He didn't see me but it sent a giddy tingle down my spine that he was looking for me. I went to the pub shortly after with my friends (read: Cog's friends) and came back to an email from Skully asking if I was going for a beer at lunch. I decided I would just go by his desk and apologize for getting the email after I had already left.

There is something about him that makes me nervous. And even though I told myself I wouldn't turn red, I did, especially when he asked for my number "in case he got lost from his building to mine". Right.

In the meantime my friends that were supposed to go with me totally bailed and I was left to go with Skully by myself to meet up with Kiwi and his friends and this other guy I knew at happy hour.

When Skully and I arrived, we were the ONLY people there, so we grabbed a drink and settled in by the fire. We were chatting about family stuff he's the youngest of three boys and then more important things like he's not with his girlfriend but they still hang out since they are both new to London. Just as I was about to fish for more info, Kiwi walked in and we continued to have several rounds. It wasn't a good turn out but we all had fun.

After even more drinks, Skully and I were able to talk a little more about our past relationships in which I told him I only seem to date Australians. He was intrigued by this.

We all got kicked out at around 11pm (for some reason) and headed home. This other guy was tagging along and kept leaning into me to try to flirt but I was like um negative and tried my hardest to avoid his advances. Politely.

Luckily he had to catch another tube than Skully and I and left us standing in the streets. Skully suggested we grab another drink (that was sooooo not needed at this point with who knows how many under my belt). I agreed and in we went where we got even cosier.

I really wish I could remember our conversation fully but I remember bits and pieces: he could tell I was interested and he was interested too, he doesn't sleep with his ex and can count on both hands how many times they've done it since June (what?) they are just good friends.

Then he kissed me. And it was good. And complicated and I told him so. I told him I didn't want to be the other woman. That I'm always the other woman, etc. and that we work together. He said that was a technicality since we don't directly work together and now that I work in the other building it's not the same. Whatever. He asked your place or mine?

I said mine but no funny business. Only kissing. We walked to the tube and somehow I learned that he lost his virginity at 12 (!!!!!!) and that he's lived with 3 other girlfriends before. Oh and that he knew his current ex 3 months before they decided to go on the 4 month tour of the Americas and the Caribbean. WTF?

So we got to my flat and started kissing and somehow his hands were wondering and I decided (the drinks decided) that it would be fine if no major things happen (read: sex or any other form of it). So we did stuff and it was nice but then confusing. He told me he had never dated an American before and my comment was sarcastically, so we're dating now? He, of course, fell asleep and I lay awake wondering what all this meant and if I was going to get the reputation of the office slut. Awesome!

My alarm went off at 6:30am and he got up to get dressed because he had to go home first to change for work. So he kissed me deeply while I was lying in bed and then again after I wrapped myself in a blanket to let him out.

I went to work severely hungover and didn't get an email/text/call from him. Awesome. Still haven't and it's Sunday morning.

I've been sick all weekend and I just want someone to care enough about me to bring me soup and watch movies with me and not try anything while I get better. I can't do the whole only sex thing again. It wrecks me.

So if he asks me out on a proper date, I'll go. But there will be no funny stuff and most importantly NO ALCOHOL. Honestly, I don't care one way or the other because he is so fresh out of his last relationship and like I said I can't be the other woman. That would just make me an eejit yet again.

Distractions

These past few weeks have been crazy!

I've been to a couple of concerts lately The Dandy Warhols and Lovers Electric- both brilliant. Been going out a lot. Was propositioned while meeting up with friends at a bar across town by a drunk Australian (of course) "before I go home, can you give me a wank?". WTF? I replied "probably not going to happen!" over my shoulder. This past weekend a bloke was chatting me up and then proceeded to try to kiss me while my friends weren't looking and tell me all the different ways he would pleasure me-very graphically. Um...hi, we just met like 5 seconds ago and that is a HUGE turn off! Why can't I just meet someone normal?

At least I had these incidents to distract me from thinking about the rumor that was going around in the Houston office that my name was on a list to go to Singapore. Excuse me, what? Needless to say the freak out occurred and now I have my list of reasons why I don't want to go there all prepared if and when I'm approached. Mainly I have established a life HERE and call me crazy but I don't feel like living in a hotel for months again. I had a meeting with one of the big bosses again today that was reassuring that I would be still staying in London. Thank God! But I'm not going to feel 100% great about it until I sign another contract.

I've also been rather down lately about the relationship situation or lack there of. I got into a huge yelling match on the phone (sound familiar? do you see a pattern?) with the Cog after a bottle of wine on Thursday with friends and no dinner. I don't even want to BE with him....I think it's just the principle of him not wanting to date me only...you know and hello I should be the 28 year old tart he should be falling all over. I know. I'm fucked up. I might have texted him when we hung up "i don't want to keep you from all the 40 year-olds (at the pub he was at) that might get away". I think I have anger issues, too. (Back story: there was a relapse 2 weeks ago when he was in town for a dinner).

I'm going through some issues. What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm just hoping for more distractions...of the good kind.

Today was a good day

• The big boss told me that after my project is complete in November, he will find something else for me more long term and that there are tons of opportunities for me in London! Yippee!
  

• I noticed sooooo many hot guys. Like everywhere. And at work. (Trouble). I chatted to one today while fixing my coffee and he ironically starts on my project tomorrow. He's new and he's Australian. Another one is Australian as well, and I've noticed him since I moved here, but we just started the "Hi. How are yous?" last week. My mission is to have a full conversation with him to get the ball moving. I can't hold it against them that they hail from the same country as what's his name.


• While waiting in the queue at the grocery store tonight I saw a hot guy take his place behind me...then I heard this conversation with his "friend" that joined him.
  
  Gay guy #1: What do you have there?
  Gay guy #2: Just chocolates and sweets. I’m totally stressing out. Oh my god, do I look like I’m stressing out!?!?!?!?
  Gay guy #1: (Thinking) You look like a fat chick waiting in line. I’m not trying to be mean..I’m just saying. Don't you think you should put at least one thing back?
  
  Effing hilarious! They were American and of course gay, hence the hotness. It took all I had not to bust out laughing. I did that all the way home and reminded myself to check in with my friend Kevin (that lives here) after fashion week! I need to take Emetron's advice and reconnect with my gay male friends!
  
  Things are looking up. Things. Are. Looking. Up!

Mr. Dwindle

Days with the COG may be slowly dwindling. He's moving to another project in another office location soon. Proximity was really the convenience of this "thing". We shall see. Might actually be a blessing in disguise...

But we're going out (mind you with our coworkers so we will have to keep it all in check, but I know where he'll end up...and it's not on my couch) on Thursday so maybe that will be our last tryst - I haven't decided.

Mad

at myself.

The past couple of weeks I've been doing things that just aren't...well me. It's like I'm having an out of body experience. Where I see the things I'm doing and know that they aren't good for me yet don't stop myself, let the experience continue so that I can dwell on it and create more self resentment. The old me would run for the hills in this situation. Wouldn't even dream of getting into the situation in the first place. The old me had morals and standards and expectations. But I'm obviously going through something... boredom, jadedness, bitterness- who knows?

I do know that it has to stop and that tomorrow starts a new day.

I'm done with boys, men, ASSHOLES

Things with COG, er, "progressed" on Thursday night after half a bottle of red wine and some vodka spirits. Now I know that I'm definitely not interested in dating this guy (man) nor see any sort of future with him but when someone tells you that they are going to come over on Saturday night, you tend to believe them. Until, you know, they don't. And they don't even call to tell you they aren't coming, nor do they call the next day with a lame excuse. The best is that he had my number and I didn't have his to be like 'what the fuck?' And honestly my intuition was telling me that he wasn't going to come over in the back of my mind when we parted ways on Friday morning. Something just felt off. But being the nice person I am, I like to give them the benefit of the doubt.

So Saturday, I went on a pub crawl during the day with some of my friends, left to meet COG and when he didn't show between 6-7pm his proposed time, I met my friends back out. All was not lost but it's the flipping principle of things. Have a little respect. And the fact that we are in such close proximity with each other during the week, one would think he would try not to look like a using ass. Monday should be very interesting to say the least.

So I think I'm tossing in the towel on the male gender for a while. I thought I could just have fun to pass the time until Mr. Right floated along but all I'm kissing lately are frogs. And I'm sick of frogs. Frogs suck. They tell you what you want to hear when you want to hear it. And then they don't follow through. I deserve soooo much better and repeatedly putting myself in this destructive pattern is not helping my well being.

Where is my prince already?

*UPDATE: So COG emails me a sorry about the weekend note. And I was like all you had to do was call to cancel, it's no big deal we didn't get together. Turns out he had the last digit wrong of my phone number - I made him call me standing in front of me with my phone that was clearly not ringing - and left a message on that persons voicemail. Whateves. Think I've changed my mind and am now into using men as much as they use me. The COG is very good at certain things ladies. No emotional ties especially since I know it's not going anywhere. Game on!

Rage against the Machine (ie Cell phone)

What if after 3 glasses of wine (when your limit is clearly 1 glass when no dinner is involved) with the COG (for the second night in a row) you do something crazy. Like somehow find a certain phone number even though you erased it from your phonebook and were very thorough to delete it from your text message inbox and outbox. But by sheer luck the number still sits in your received call log from the time you missed his call weeks ago*.

And what if you start texting on the tube back to your flat, like a mad person and saying everything that is possibly in your head about the situation and when you run out of room you send that text and start a new one, this time to fill him in on what you've been doing since he was too much of a rudeass to ask last time. And you tell him he was a rudeass too. You tell him where you're living now and that you are going home in July for your 10 year high school reunion and that you are even going to Ibiza, so there. And what if you get a text back saying "easy tiger" and that sends you even more over the edge and into crying hysterics that you try calling but of course the phone is not picked up on his end so you text that this is a shock that he isn't answering. Of course sarcastically.

You call your friends back home for them to talk you down off of this alcohol induced ledge only to receive a text that he's at a pub and will call you tomorrow. You be a smart ass and text back that you won't hold your breath on that one and that you really need to talk to him.

So he calls. And you say everything that is on your mind...you know reiterating what was said in already in drunken text and say that the whole situation was just fucked up. And that you were suppose to go back to the states and that it was the wine talking about being exclusive. And the day he stood you up for tennis you felt you were way too nice and basically "just bent over and took it". And somehow you talk about his trip to Australia which he leaves for on Friday and how he's going to see his daughter and la la la- normal conversation and all the while, he never hears you cry. He then tells you that you will play tennis when he gets back and you tell him not to blow smoke up your ass. Which makes him laugh. But let's face it, your psychotic episode pretty much guarantees you will not be getting a phone call when he gets back.

And it makes you sad. Because although finally talking to him after all this time is really what you needed, by showing your real self and your potty mouth that you usually kept in check with him, you know that this is officially over. For real. The opportunity lost forever. And only the handful of memories remain.

*very rarely do I get calls (unless I'm dating someone and clearly that is NOT the case right now) on my "mobile"...everything seems to be about text messages to make plans here...therefore why his missed call is still in my phone from the beginning of June.

Just Friends

Saturday night was fun. The house party ended up being cancelled but Blake and I met up anyway at a pub in between our flats - turns out we live only 2 tube stops away from each other. We totally recognized each other when we first got to the pub and did the whole what are you doing in the city, the mutual friend game and getting acquainted song and dance. Really nice guy, cute, smart, successful but way shorter than me and I was wearing flats! I like to be able to be protected in a dark alley when I date someone and this guy unfortunately would not pass that test. But he does have great friend potential and we talked about traveling to Spain together.

We moved onto another bar/lounge where a guy he used to work with in New York joined us. This guy was super cute as well and tall but lived in NYC. The three of us continued drinking and when that bar closed we set out to find one that was still open. We stumbled on some random bar that I swear is a Chinese restaurant by day and NYC guy worked some magic and got us a free bottle of champagne. By this time I had already had 2 diet and Bacardi's, a gazillion watermelon martini's (so delish) and now 1/3 of a bottle of champagne. We then headed to a dive bar and met up with 2 more of Blake's friends. By this time I was in the mood to d.a.n.c.e. and luckily the place played great hip hop jams. I danced with NYC guy who was super fun and then I danced with Blake. Drunk Blake totally tried to put the moves on me and dance up close and personal but I got out of it by doing the whole hold hands and twirl/jitter bug routine.

We all ended up drinking more at Blake's flat which is 3 times the size of my flat complete with pimp ass furniture and a massive flat screen TV. All of the guys were bankers with the latest blackberry in pocket and highly successful at 28 it seems. Two of the guys in their drunkenness were going to have a sprinting contest but one of them bailed out because he had on his "Ferragamo's". Which NYC guy said he had lunch with Tony and James Ferragamo at their vineyard in Tuscany just last week. What what? It was fun just chilling and being around boys on a platonic basis- I forgot how entertaining they can be!

At 6am, it was time to call it a night/morning. NYC guy was staying with friends in my neck of the woods so we walked together a ways. He sent me an email from his blackberry so that I could have his contact info. He might be moving to London or at least traveling here often so that could be fun. We parted ways and I finally crashed into my bed and didn't get up until 3pm.

I paid the price for fun all day yesterday but sometimes it's just worth it!

Real Classy.

Just your typical day.

You know go to work, work a half day (normal for Fridays), go to the pub after work, make out with COG in a park on a park bench with school children playing 50 yards away. Hear things like "I want to shag* your brains out". Finish kissing then go your separate ways. Ride the tube in disbelief. Run errands. Go to the grocery store. Go for a run. Go out to dinner with friends and speak of none of this.

You know, typical day.

Which leads me to the question: What the hell am I thinking (doing)?

*Shagging did NOT occur, just for the record.

15 years my Senior

Thursday was....eventful to say the least.

I usually can remember the amount of shots and drinks I consume on a given night out...but not that night. COG and I were flirty flirty and I was desperately trying to keep it as secret as possible. But really when you're drinking how can you keep flirting and giving each other the "eyes" over drinks from people, other coworkers, around you.

I asked COG how old he thought I was and instead of trying to guess he told me he was 43 since that was really what I was getting at anyway. I mulled this over and in my drunken state this was okay to me. 15 years. No problem. Despite the fact that really he could have a 23 year old child if he had one at 20. Making his pseudo offspring 5 years younger than me...less of a gap. But I later found out he had an 8 year old daughter and has never been married. Phew! My drunken self thought it would be fun to see where adventures with an older man might go...who cares that I would have to see him everyday and that others where watching.

That's when the kiss(ing) happened. Luckily the others were equally as hammered and hopefully remember this as a hallucination. The kissing was quite good actually. Well would you expect anything less from someone with that much more experience on that? I think not.

Somehow it was 2am and we were heading back to my place after everyone had gone home. I promised myself that only kissing could happen. And that is exactly what went on but slept in my bed together naturally. You know me and sleeping with others in my bed. Did not go well and he snored. Negative.

We rode the train into work the next morning. COG was in his same clothes from the night before on casual friday! AHHHH. But no one said a thing and it turns out that a guy we were out with was so drunk he got sick in a cab! Someone was worse off than me!

There is a huge difference between a kiss and a kiss that could have had extreme dirty potential. Something about having COG's hands on my bum and kissing my neck in public. I'm sure I looked like a 28 year old tart. But you only live once.

Things are slightly awkward at work...you know having someone's tongue down your throat and all and telling them "This is really bad (situation)!" repeatedly...but I'm getting through it.

UPDATE: Not planning on dating COG but he did ask via email if "we will have another night out in London......or would that be bad?????". I think I'm "getting back together" with Kanger over the weekend to soften the blow...must be very careful with the situation at hand.

*I must tell you that while all of this was going on at the different pubs, I was texting back and forth with Kanger and talking shit about how I would totally kick his ass in tennis and that he must really be scared to lose to a girl. Needless to say we have been texting on and off since Thursday and he actually called me last night but my phone was off. But we have plans to have our match next Sunday afternoon. From what I've gathered from our texting, he quit his job and gave them a 2.5 month notice and is going traveling with his high school months for a couple of months after that and from what I deduce will be moving back to Oz after that. I'll get the full scoop next weekend. Really looking forward to seeing him.

I think I'm in for some T.R.O.U.B.L.E

I've been rather flirty via email and in person with a certain older gentleman (COG) that works with me. I can't figure out his age - I'm guessing around 38 at the oldest although could be way off. He arranged a night out for his department and invited me to join this Thursday. He also borrowed my umbrella during lunch today and held it hostage until I agreed to these terms:

1 You have to wear a skirt/dress on Thursday. (post explaining this to follow)
2 You have to look after me in the city of London and make sure that I’m not accosted.
3 You have to drink the same drinks that I drink (on the hour will be a drink of choice).
4 I get to have the first dance with you if we go to a club…….but you can’t stand on my toes.
5 Should the need arise you have to make me breakfast in the morning……..(not beans on toast though).
6 You have to teach me to talk ‘Texan’ in case the movie Dallas ever gets to the production line.

You have 30 mins to reply or the brelly gets it.

Can we say WTF to Number 5??? Oh. Dear.

My name is TC and I'm a DUMBASS

I called my landlord today to tell him that my boiler is leaking and that my washer and dryer are not working. He answered but seemed really distracted and asked for me to call him back in 5 minutes. I agreed and hung up and thought that was soooo rude - If you can’t talk then don’t flipping answer.

I let 20 minutes go by and I called him back and started talking again about my washer/dryer etc. There were some more pauses and then he started talking and I hang up because I realized that I was not talking to Niall "The Landlord", but Niall "The 23 Year Old" whom I haven’t spoken to since early March!!!!!!

He called back and I was laughing at my stupidity and told him my landlord's name is Niall and I thought I was talking to him and that I was soo sorry. He seemed to think it was pretty funny as well. We chatted for a bit then I let him go back to work since it was 9:30am. Before we hung up, I told him we should catch up sometime. We shall see.

I called my real landlord finally and the problems are fixed! And to make matters more absurd, a week ago I put in my phonebook Landlord Niall to avoid this ordeal and without thinking called Niall thinking it was the Landlord.

They have now been changed to NIALL and NIALL - LANDLORD.

Holy Shit.

I don't even know what to do with this...Okay...I'm wasted right now after spending hours with Kanger this afternoon. We went shopping for his racket and then we went to a pub for some drinks. Needless to say I got drunk and decided to call him out on ALL things that he has done the past few weeks. I told him he was hard to read and that is when he told me he

HAS A FOUR YEAR OLD DAUGHTER in Australia.

WTF? So it's sinking in and we talked about it and I was like as long as you aren't getting back together with the mom then we will see where this goes. But WTF? HE HAS A CHILD. How do I handle this? And while we were talking about all of this I interupted him and was like "Oh no, remember when you were in my hotel room and asked me about my car situation and I told you I still had it and that I was basically paying child support for it...I feel terrible now because I laughed and you didn't and I found it strange but now I understand." Brutal. So basically we talked about everything and he was like we will go to a play on Wednesday night and I'll bring my work clothes for the next morning. We shall see. I can't cut him off just yet because he has a child, can I? And the mom (my mom)...will not be knowing about this anytime soon.

After parting from Kanger on the train and trying to process all of this...two gay guys were sitting across from me quite drunk as well. Somehow one of them crossed their legs and flip his flip flop right next to my foot...accidentally of course. We all three thought this was the funniest thing ever and continued to laugh our heads off for 5 stops while trying to be quiet for the other passengers. My stop finally came up and I told them to try to keep their shoes in check. Cool moments laughing until you cry with complete and total strangers. I think I needed a moment of hilarity in this crazy situation I just stepped into.

Your thoughts please...