You hear it first

News...
I got a mass email from Mark today informing us that he will be out of London for the next year. Turns out he's moving to Paris on Monday. Slightly sad about this because a) there isn't time to say goodbye as he's going to Iceland on Thursday until Sunday and b) he's missing Skully's return from Dubai drinks on Friday. The ones I was excited to see him at so I could speak Spanish to him. He did say in our brief emails that I could come and visit after he was settled in. We'll see. Plus he'll be in London often so I'm sure I'll see him but I'm just bummed.

-Almost at the same time that I received Mark's email, Graham emailed me to tell me that he's back at our company. Luckily he's not in our building which I was totally freaking out that he was until he said he was at the satellite building. Phew! We're friends and I've come to the decision that he has autistic tendencies and until he turns them around that's all we can ever be. He turns 36 on Saturday...you would think he'd be a grown up by now.

-I can't remember if I wrote about a German guy I met at a dinner for work last year. At the time I told him to facebook friend me and he said he wasn't on it. Somehow it came out that he had a long distance girlfriend somewhere and that's when my interest level stopped. We texted back and forth a couple days after he went back to Germany but I left it since I didn't want to be a home wrecker. Cut to last week and he asked me to be his friend. I accepted and then looked at his profile and I’m his only friend. It’s like he signed up just to contact me.

He messaged me and asked me out for drinks because he’ll be in town on Thursday but I have plans…he lives in Birmingham (UK not Alabama) now which is only an hour or so away from London. I unfortunately already have plans on Thursday so I told him to let me know the next time he’s in town and we can meet up. He wrote back that he would like me to be his tour guide and that he would come down for a day. I wrote back "As long as your girlfriend won’t mind you can come on Sunday". I figure that way he won’t think he’s staying over or anything since it’s a week night. He told me not "to concern myself about a girlfriend".

Not sure if he's being sleek or speaking German-English for "we broke up" but I guess he's coming on Sunday.

Se habla Espanol!

My 2010 started off with an embarrassing bang. I went home for Christmas for a week and then came back to London to ring in the new year in style. My friend Shelby belongs to a swanky members only club in Mayfair and we decided to get a table for the night. Since our regular gang of Americans were still in the states and her boyfriend was in Switzerland, we had that much more alcohol between us. And drink it we did. Starting with half a bottle of champagne each for the pre-party at her (boyfriend’s) penthouse flat in Belgravia, a super strong vodka soda that we could light our breath on fire and topping it all off with our bottle service of Croatian vodka that tasted like nail polish remover. Needless to say we were housed. They played really good music and we danced the night away. Shelby captured the (unwanted) attention of an English accented Mexican fellow who bought us shots of tequila and I showed them all how it was done. I vaguely remember calling my and Mark’s (aka Saf) mutual friend to get his number since I had erased it from my phone. I don’t know if you remember but I have a problem with drunk texting and dialing. For some unknown reason she gave it to me after I promised that I would only text him “Happy New Year!”. She has now learned her lesson that I also tell white lies when drunk. I saved the number to my phone and proceeded to text him 5 times with two “where are you?”, one blank text, one “are you alive?” and one “dude” text. I have no recollection of getting home but thankfully I did and I woke up in my birthday suit with my clothes from the night before strung all over the flat. Classy.

The next day and the day after New Year’s Day, I suffered from the worst hang over ever. Two days of hell. I checked my phone to assess the damage and found the text messages and also that I had called him as well. I agonized over the fact of how obnoxious I was with the texts and how I showed how I can’t handle my liquor once again (there’s a back story with him that may or may not involve me hammered and grinding him up against a wall). Monday morning rolled around and I figured out that the text messages that I had sent actually had an extra number in it so therefore my texts didn’t go through! Eureka! I was sooo ecstatic that he didn’t see them and that he just had a missed call from me and that he would think I dialed him by accident.

An hour later my bubble was burst when I received this email from him:

Hey!
Happy new year.

Do you by any chance recall phoning me about 5 times and leaving me messages in Spanish on my voicemail?? Haha – classic! I didn’t even get drunk on new year’s – I wanted to be fresh and non-hung-over for skiing

Um…so much worse than the original texts! And speaking another language! WTF? I guess I had been speaking Spanish to the Mexican guy and it carried over to me leaving messages. When I stopped laughing and dying of mortification, I knew I had to write him back but not seem all eager beaver and like I was in love with him since I was clearly thinking of him on New Year’s Eve of all nights!

I wrote back:

Who knew the combination of champagne and vodka could make me so bilingual! Haha – sorry about that. Hope you had a good time skiing. Happy New Year!

And scene.

Skully is coming to London in February (he’s working in Dubai) and has organized drinks which I’m sure will include Mark.

I think I'll greet him with “Hola! Como estas!”.

Daggers and Tears

I'm going through a roller coaster of emotions. One minute I'm fine and have the everything happens for a reason attitude. The next I'm teary and don't understand the universe and the hurt that I'm going through. It didn't help that today, Graham's old cube mate asked how he was doing and I said that I wasn't sure. The guy literally acted like someone DIED. He was so sorry and didn't understand since we were getting on so well. Me either, I wanted to say but didn't.

What I don't understand is how someone could tell me that they were willing to give it a second try then disappear (aside from an email from his new work) then respond back to my email a week later and accept plans to meet up only to send another (harsh) email saying: I don't see this going anywhere. I don't feel the chemistry that I look for in a long term thing. I don't know what else to say. Don't you know if there is chemistry or not in the first month not THREE months? And wouldn't you think he could have spoken up to tell me this when he had plenty of opportunities to do so? It's my very own version of Carrie Bradshaw's post it note break up. What goes through a guy's head to be so impersonal after 3 months of dating that he can just toss me aside like that and just disappear into the sunset without ever looking back? I can understand an email after a month of casual dating but that...it baffles me. Of course I wrote back: You could start by not breaking up with someone over the phone or again over email at flipping work. I'm sorry you couldn't be a 34 year old man and do it the proper way. Maybe in your next endeavor you won't lead people on either. I'm also sorry that you feel this way and couldn't give it the second chance it deserved. No wonder you're still not married. Add all of the confusing things about marriage and kids (we walked by a daycare his last week and he said "our kids can go there" wtf?) Screw with my head much?

I just want to fast forward and get over it already but it's only been a week and I'm just sad at what could have been but pissed at the person he turned out to be. And equally furious that it was all over an email.

Starting over...

with Graham.

The past few weeks have been bumpy. The first weekend Graham got back from his trip, he was really sick and therefore we couldn't go out. This was frustrating but he was sick and there wasn't anything we could do about it. Then last weekend our schedules didn't match as I had plans with friends on Friday night and he had plans with friends on Saturday. Again frustrating but we compromised and promised to meet up after our friends on Friday. That's never a good combination with drinking, RAGING PMS, and frustration of not really connecting. Sure we see each other every single day but even that is hard because we have to be professional and reading the other person becomes tricky. So there was a fight at 2am and then we were supposed to see each other on Sunday but because of the fight, it didn't happen. He was mad at me for Friday and I was feeling blah because I felt he wasn't making an effort. So we talked about it on Monday and things seemed to be okay but I couldn't sleep all week because it just felt off. Which brings me to tonight. We were supposed to be on a date but we decided not to see each other until later on next week.

I think seeing each other Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday for 9 hours a day, sitting on the same floor 30 feet apart and then on Saturday and Sunday has taken its toll. It wasn't a normal relationship and it was oversaturation. I tried to overcompensate to make things right and find a connection by riding home with him after work about 3 times a week, so tack on an additional in your face 40 minutes. Our time together was being taken for granted.

The silver lining is that he starts a new job on Monday. We've decided to give it a fresh start. I wish he would have left 1 month into our dating when things were light and fun and exciting but right now it just needs time to heal. I really want it to work but I need to be met halfway and not feel like I'm forcing it. So I'm letting him take the lead and see where this goes...again.

Cruise Control

Things are fine with Graham. He (finally) emailed me this afternoon to see how the rest of my weekend was and told me he was having a bad day. That makes two of us because I was silently torturing myself with ludicrous thoughts of how it was over.

We took the train into town together before parting ways and I asked if everything was okay to which he said it was. I told him I was just making sure since we work so close together and didn't want anything to be awkward. I asked if we were still on for Saturday - he was supposed to come over and watch a movie since my flatmate is going to the REM concert and I'd have the place to myself. I told him we should take two steps back and go to watch some live music (since he plays the guitar) instead and that he could come over at a later date. No need to rush anything. And I promise to not have that sort of conversation with him again. I'm going to be charming and funny and going with the flow on Saturday. No need to get so heavy. And if he wants to see me again then fine...but I'm not forcing or controling anything.

Seriously Excited

Like seriously, about my date with Graham Cracker Crunch tomorrow night! He wanted to grab coffee with me before I left for the day today but we couldn't because the shop was closed so he left work early to ride the tube into town together. And seriously his compliments to me couldn't be any cuter! Example: "I was playing on my new guitar last night. It's the third best thing to come out of the States" Me, "What are the top 2?" Him, "There's Jimi Hendrix at number 2 and of course you at number 1.". Yes he can have some wine with that cheese...but he says it in a genuinely joking way that is HILARIOUS!

So we're going to dinner and then a comedy club in Covent Garden. Deets to follow!

The upDATE

I don't want to jinx it but I have a good feeling about this one.

We had a great time at the Porterhouse and time flew by. This is what I learned:

• He's 34
• Very funny
• Owns his flat and renovated it
• Is half Swiss, half Brit (he wears cuff links - lover it!)
• Lived in Australia for a year and a half
• Extremely complimentary and flattering
• Boxes, surfs and plays guitar in a band
• Likes my laugh and legs - looked like a school boy when he told me this!
• Extremely witty
• Smart
• Creative
• Super cute (and good dresser) but has a dorky side, which I love since I am a dork as well!

The list goes on...We have a 2nd date on Saturday night! I'm playing it cool but I can't stop talking about him or thinking about him (might have something to do with him sitting 20 feet away)! Things could get tricky but I'm not jumping into anything and we ended the date with a kiss on the cheek. Slow and steady. Sllllloooooooooowwwwwww and steady!

Fast Forward

There I was, debating the great will Mr. Bean email me nonsense, when life got in the way and I'm glad it did. I did receive an email from a crush today but not Mr. Bean...

At lunch today, I told my friends about Crush Lite on my floor and how our eye contact and flirty sporadic chats were very intense, if only I knew his name.

Not even an hour after I got back, Graham stopped and introduced himself while I loaded paper awkwardly into the printer. He was about to walk through the door (near the printer) when he said it would be redundant for him to open it (our little joke because we always pass each other and he always holds the door open for me saying he should get a job holding doors open to which I have told him he's really good at it - hey, it's something). In my retardedness, I told him that there would be more doors for him to open. Then I thought did I just say that and before I could recover, he was gone.

Then ping! an hour later in my inbox:

Hi Texas, good to meet you this afternoon albeit without a door being opened. I was wandering if you’re free one lunchtime or evening if you would like lunch or a drink sometime? I realize it’s a bit forward and via e-mail but I’m probably out of here fairly soon as work has dried up a bit.

Graham

What?!?!?!?! I'm guessing he works contract and he's potentially leaving the company to go to another one and he wants to get to know me before he leaves. Swoon! I've never had someone pursue me like this. He obviously got my last name from somewhere, especially since I wasn't wearing a badge when we made our introductions...and he knew what department I was in, too. I like his forwardness and that he made the first move! Finally, no force needed!

So we have a date for drinks in Covent Garden (his idea and one of my favorite places) on Monday. I'm seriously booked for a week solid starting tomorrow with only Monday free so we'll see...!!! :)

Wanna be a balla...

I can't begin to tell you how exhausted I am from a great time in Juan Les Pins, France last weekend. Could have something to do with going to bed at 4am both nights then having my flight delayed 3 hours and getting in at 2am on Monday morning...more on that soon. Remember the great "we should grab a drink cause we're neighbors" doh moment to Mr. Bean when he called to apologize last week that he couldn't go to my party. I hadn't seen him since then until I bumped into him on the stairs yesterday. Luckily I was looking t-a-n and told him I had just gotten back from France and he told me of his Norway travels. He then asked where I lived exactly and I asked him and while we aren't exactly neighbors we are close enough and share the same tube stop. He queried about my local pubs and said we should grab that drink. Since it has been mainly me...okay ALL me making the moves (to no avail I might add) I told him to email me to sort something out. And okay I might have said "you have my email" and made the typing action with my hands (dork, yes I know this). Woulda, coulda, shoulda said, "cool, shoot me an email and we'll sort something out". Same thing, right? Or no?

So we'll see. I ran into him again today but didn't really get a chance to talk to him since I was with other peeps.

Also on a side note: Crush #2 may have called me a "Naughty Girl" when he asked about my weekend in France and I told him it was fun with lots of antics...drunken antics. Yeah, I didn't know what to do with that comment...

Redemption Song

Mr. Bean called this morning to apologize for not making my party. It seems he had to go to Norway for work last week and got in really really late on Friday. Granted, he could have TOTALLY just sent me an email to apologize but the fact that he called is good, right?

I was slightly caught off guard and was like no worries you were missed but it was a lot of fun with lots of peeps there which is always fun blah blah and he was like that's a shame I missed it and I was like well we should grab a drink since we're neighbors (no clue what came over me!) and he was like yeah definitely and a hole bunch of awkward yeahs and then I was like well I'll see you soon. Ahhhhhhhh. So we'll see... but ball is definitely in his court because hello I've thrown it out several several times so he will HAVE to make the next move.

Did I happen to mention that I moved floors and there is a cutie? No clue what his name is but I intend to find out!

Wanted: Equalization Factor

Last night's party was a blast. We had about 40 peeps in our flat and the alcohol was flowing. We now also have left overs so I see another party in our future as well!

I've found that I like having crushes...it's when the reality of the crush comes to fruition that is a bit of a let down.

So Crush #2 came to my party like he said he would...we chatted. We flirted. But the equalization factor just wasn't there. Like I know all about his recent holiday but he knows nothing about mine type of thing. And we are both invited to a party in a couple of weeks and he wasn't sure if he was going because he has to wake up and bike 80 miles with a friend but I was like you should come for just a drink or two and then get a good night's sleep. He said he would think about it. I might have mentioned this more than once. Oops...booze babble! Also, my "wing woman" might have been a little to obvious in trying to get dirt from him. I now know that he's lived with a girl before and the breakup "was very painful" and that he's 28. But regardless of being slightly obvious that I was interested, it shouldn't be that hard, you know? And I baited him with "I never see you except every so often in the lobby" No dice. No we should meet up for tea or lunch. Nada. "When he was leaving he was like "I'll make sure to stop and chat with you in the lobby" and I was like "If you're lucky". Snark! So he's out I would say. Plus my friends said Crush #2 was a little boring and that I need someone fun like me. I also had a dream last night that he wouldn't date me because I'm American and our childrens wouldn't be "purebreeds." I'm still feeling blah and eh about it. But you know what, if someone can't see what a flipping catch I am, then they just aren't worth it.

And can I just tell you that Mr. Bean, who emailed me right when I sent out the email invitation that he was marking his calendar, didn't show. At. All. WTF? He might have been embarrassed because last week when I saw him he was like Friday right? And I was like oh no it's next Friday...maybe he didn't want to seem too eager beaver. Or maybe he's just not that interested. I think/know it's the latter. And again, that's fine because it really shouldn't be that hard.

I'm looking for effortless, easy flowing, no drama or games. Someone equally intersted in me as I am of them. Balance.

Unfortunately, a guy that I was actually meshing with and on the same wavelength has a girlfriend, that I work with. He also works at our company too. Tricky. Obviously, I'm not doing anything about that. But if things are meant to be, they will be. Right?

All and all, I had sooooo much fun with my friends and I think everyone had a good time!

*PS. The Shadow was of course the first person to arrive at 7.10pm and I was able to chat with him before hand so as to not have him follow me around which he gladly didn't! And Harris, who I'm going to France with next weekend to meet up with Blake, was like we should get on The Shadow's boat next week, who's going to be in the South of France at the same time. I shot him a not on your flipping life look. Harris later said he was strange! Phew! The Shadow did, however, email me through facebook to say what a great party it was and to thank me for his invite...wtf?
Update: After rehashing last night with friends, they told me that the Shadow kept talking about going to our town to meet up so I decided to stop it once and for all. I don't need to be stressed that he's going to impose on my vacation that I plan on enjoying with my close friends.

Shadow,
Glad you had fun at the party and could make it.
About France...I heard you were planning on coming to our town next weekend on your boat? Honestly, Prissy, Harris and I will be using next weekend to catch up with Blake since we haven't seen him in ages and will NOT be able to meet up with you. Not sure when you are leaving for France but have a good trip.
Texas

Harsh? Maybe. Needed? Absolutely!

From the Shadow:
Just to clear it up I didn't say i would be heading up to your town, I only said to Harris that it was a shame you chaps were not there a little longer so we could sort out meeting up for a drink or a boat trip. Apologies for any confusion, any how hope you have an excellent trip.
Best wishes,
The Shadow
Finally signed without the xXx. Yes!

Time...it flys

Wow...I didn't realize how long it was since I last posted. I guess I've been busy but not sure what I've been doing.

Anyway, the big flat warming party is on Friday and I can't wait to get my flirt on! Crush #2 has now moved to the Crush #1 spot and hopefully by the end of the night he will have his much deserved nickname and stick around in this little story! Mr. Bean is still in the running but I'm digging #2 more these days... (my friend saw his friend give Crush #2 a chin/head nod when I entered the diner last week - it's the little things people)!

I think I have the Shadow thing under control and one of my friend's has offered to do damage control when he tries to get up in my Kool Aid.

Hope all is well in your worlds and I know I'll have plenty to report after the party and pics of the new place - promise!

Giddy in my Girliness

I finally saw Crush #2 today as I was walking out to lunch (I haven't seen him in almost a month). He was standing with a group of people and I felt him see me while I waited my turn to swipe out of the turnstile. I passed by him and said hi with a wave then left with my friends. I was hoping he would go to the same restaurant with his friends but he didn't. I was kicking myself for not making more conversation but there really were a lot of people standing around so it would have been a little much.

Anyway, 3pm rolled around and I got an email from him in response to my flat warming party that my flatmate and I are having in 2 weeks. I sent the mass email on the 23rd of June before I went on holiday and so that people (read: my crushes) could put it on there calendar. He said he "plans to be there!" and "thanks for the kind invitation" - would sound gay coming from any other guy but so decidedly English I flipping love it! I wrote back "cool...glad you can make it!".

I already knew he was coming because one of my friend's brought up my party yesterday to him in conversation and he said "oh I'm definitely going to that" which said friend immediately reported back to me! But it feels good to get confirmation from the actual source today!

Mr. Bean will also be in attendance which I'm excited about as well. And also the Shadow which, you know, I'm not. But it should be interesting how I juggle the two (three) that evening.

Don't worry I'm going to play it very cool in this next dating/whatever-this-is endeavour. I feel like I've learned lessons in sharing too much and doing "things" too early that I'm ready for a clean slate...I don't know if Mr. Bean/Crush #2 and I will even click but they both make me nervous and that's always a good start!

Nosey

I'm back and right in the thick of getting back in the groove of work (boo!) but I promise to write soon about my travels (complete with pics and antics).

Honestly, I'm still recovering from Sunday when I managed to open my bedroom door INTO my nose...you know the one I just got operated on...before heading to the Goo Goo Dolls, Ben Harper and Counting Crows concerts at the O2 Festival - which were all awesome by the way. I did, however, look like Marsha Brady for a second and thought that I had effed everything up but it's slowly getting back to normal (or as normal as it was before the clumsiness)!

Also, seems that the Shadow still has NOT gotten the hint that I'm not interested in him, no matter how many times I do not reply back to his gazillion emails. He messaged me through Facebook (I would normally just delete him but we work together and it would be AWKWARD)while I was gone to say he hoped I had a good holiday and a happy 4th. Just creepy to know he was thinking about me so early in the morning and remembering my American holiday. So I didn't respond and decided it was time to add "Nate" as a friend for the Shadow to see and hopefully back off - he still comes by my desk for awkward conversations. Monday I found out that Crush #2 is now on his project and sitting right by him. I just hope the Shadow doesn't tell him I have a boyfriend and ruin my chances (whatever they may or may not be)!

My fake boyfriend's hot, no? :)

*Thanks to Mandy for editing out the Polo Ralph Lauren logo in the background...yeah he's also a model.

Bella

I'm off to Italia...super excited about sun, fun and loads of wine! I'll be back in a little over a week to tell you all about it.

Remind me to tell you of THE HOTTEST guy I've ever seen at Wimbledon last night. I wanted to jump on him right there and then. My friends and I were drooling. For serious.

Arrivederci!

This past week I...

• have moved into my new flat and love it! Pics soon. The roommate situation was touch and go at first mainly because I'm in the smaller room so that I can pay less money (hi I'm about to be poor and because I'm never home). We hadn't agreed on each of our amounts and my interpretation of paying 100 pounds more a month and her interpretation were different. My interpretation for a 1800/month flat: 800/1000 hers 850/950....We compromised in the middle but I'm still slightly annoyed. I've chosen to be the bigger person even though my flatmate is still on expenses and will basically pocket $1200 a month after paying rent from her living allowance. Whateves. Other than that things are good with us.
• have been asked about by my crush to one of my friends. She's moving to Italy and had a leaving party on Thursday and my crush #2...will have to think of a new name...earlier in the week asked if I would be there. Unfortunately #2 had to work late on Thursday and doesn't live in town and therefore couldn't make it but HM and I are having a flat warming party in a month so there are other opportunities for me to get to know him!
• have been counting down the days until I meet my parents in Rome before heading to the Amalfi Coast with my mom for a week. I can't wait for the beach and work on my tan or lack there of!
• went to Amran's leaving party last night and thankfully no drama occurred with Skully and the girlfriend because they were out of town. I did meet some really cool people and had fun.
• totally organzed my life and am settled in.
• feel like I'm coming into my skin and that's a really really good feeling.

Sightings of the Third Kind

I've been back a week and hadn't had a Work Crush #2 sighting until yesterday. We were at the same restaurant for lunch with our own work colleagues. My friends and I were ordering ours to go so I chatted with him while we waited. The conversation was good and somewhat flirty. It just so happens that The Shadow was also dining there and got a table with his friends next to #2. My friends and I left and I said a platonic goodbye to The Shadow and then a flirtier goodbye to #2 before leaving. I can only imagine if #2 (on the off chance) said anything to his friends about me that The Shadow would pipe up and tell him I had a "boyfriend".

______________________________________________________

Last night, I met my friend Amran for drinks and dinner in Notting Hill. He's moving back to Australia soon and is having a leaving party in a couple of weeks but wanted to have some friend time with him before he leaves. He gave me a warning that Skully (they are now friends) and his girlfriend would probably be at his party and that he didn't want any drama. I told him there wouldn't be any drama from my side as I was totally over Skully. Just as long as the "psycho" (as described by Skully) girlfriend didn't do anything, the night would be cool. Not an hour after saying these words, who do we bump into on Portobello Road? The girlfriend. And I have a feeling she totally knew who I was when Amran introduced us: Texas. Blonde. American accent. Work mate of Amran's (and Skully's). It doesn't take a rocket scientist. After leaving her, Amran agreed that she seemed a bit flustered. She did seem very normal and actually nice and I don't think there will be any drama unless Skully stirs it up in which I will not be participating.

______________________________________________________

At lunch today, we went to grab a sandwich from the local bakery and I saw Mr. Bean out of the corner of my eye. I calmed my blood pressure down and as we were walking out I said hi to him and asked what project he was on since I hadn't seen him around. He told me and then what floor in my building. I'm so relieved because I thought he had moved to the other building where I would never see him but now I have greater chances of bumping into him. My friend thought he was hot and asked who I would choose between him and #2 (who is also hot).

I'm just lucky I have the option to potentially, maybe make that choice. :) Being single does have its advantages!!!

Embarrasing moment: While walking to the bakery, my friend was giving a detailed account, if not way too much information even for me, about her sex life. I proclaimed rather loudly that "I hadn't had sex in forever" thinking that no one was around. Just then a guy that sits on my floor passed us and I can now no longer look in his direction. Mortified!

Thou shall be named...Cock Blocker

I haven't had a chance to tell you guys about the Happy Hour I organized for people I work with in order to get to know them better back in April. Mainly to get to officially meet Mr. Bean and another cute coworker, but I digress. The turn out was awesome and everyone keeps asking when I'm going to put together another one.

The only bad thing that came out of it is that I have a stalker. Not a bonafide look-over-your-shoulder-everywhere-you-go but a blow-up-your-email-and-stop-by-your-desk-fifty-million-times-a-day one. My boss has resorted to humming "Love is in the air" every time he comes around.

I initially (before I knew the crazy) had a goal to get to be friends with him on Facebook because I was pretty positive that there were incriminating drunken pics of me from the company Christmas party and I wanted to see them myself. We would say hi and talk in groups and then somehow one day we were friends. Which was fine. Nothing creepy at all.

One night out, my friends and I ran into him and we all hung out. No harm. That night we became friends on Facebook and thankfully the pics weren't too bad. I had planned a Oxford vs. Cambridge boat race party at a pub on the Thames and somehow he popped up. We weren't that good of friends for me to invite him and no one else invited him either. Hmmm...

Then I started getting emails from him. I chalked it up to friends so I would respond but not all interesting like just nice and friendly. Then they started coming before I would have a chance to reply back to the first one. Who does that? So I reined in my replies.

Then the Happy Hour happened and while I was the "host", I was mingling around the bar. I finally got to meet Mr. Bean, who is funny in person, and his friends. Then I would feel "the shadow" at my side, ANSWERING questions that Mr. Bean would ask me. For example: Mr. Bean and I live one tube stop away but don't see each other in the mornings/evenings.

Mr. Bean: How come I never see you on the tube?
Me: (about to speak)
Shadow: Texas isn't a morning person.

WTF? I don't wake up next to the flipping Shadow...but to Mr. Bean it appears that I do. If that isn't cock blocking, I don't know what is.

So CB's emails continued and mine stopped. He even asked what I was doing one weekend and I told him and he asked who with and I told him with Nate the guy I'm dating. Thinking he would get the hint that way. No dice.

Can I just tell you that in the time that I have been gone, all 15 days, I have received 12 emails him via Facebook and work email. I responded only once through work email to thank him for inquiring about my surgery and that I would see him when I got back in the office in a couple of weeks. I didn't want to seem like a jerk when he clearly was concerned but that is all that I responded. The emails did not stop. I got a "have a good flight home one" and then a "welcome back to London" one today. Who keeps emailing when clearly the person has not responded and appears likely to never respond.

I'm nervous about what tomorrow will bring. Everyone I work with knows about the stalker. He's even working on a project now with my boss since I've been gone. Oh joy to have him in our area more than necessary. I might have to have a talk with him.

You better believe that Nate is my "boyfriend" now.

But why is it the ones we don't want, can't get enough and the ones we do want, can't get away fast enough?

Gone

Well, no update on the Nate situation. It seems he's done a runner and I won't be hearing from him again. Because who really doesn't wish you a safe trip and surgery, even as a friend? (Update: I got a text this morning while getting ready for the airport: Have a good trip. I think I'm just going to text back: Thanks. And leave it at that). Next. Oh but Nate, thanks for all of the 10th grade dry humping...I really enjoyed it. And no, that doesn't happen to everyone and it IS a problem.

I'm over it.

Anyway, I leave tomorrow morning for H-Town and after I arrive I'll have t-minus 12 hours before I go under the knife. Yikes! Super nervous about it but in the long run it will be okay. Plus I'll be able to breathe and (hopefully) not snore when I'm sleeping next to my Prince Charming someday. I know he's out there but the universe just wants me to busy myself with a bunch of frogs at the moment. At least it makes for some decent stories.

In the meantime, I'm looking forward to busying myself with family and friends for the next couple of weeks - I plan to milk being "the patient" for all it's worth!

Houston, we have lift off...

It works but I don't think we're going to work. After 24 hours together with a basically one sided conversation, I've had enough.

I met his friends at the park and it just seemed that I was in the way of catching up. What should have been an afternoon of boozing in the park turned into a sober one with hours slowly ticking by. Nate decided to detox from alcohol for a week and not wanting to seem like an alcoholic, I refrained as well. It was just awkward. I'm a talker. I'm outgoing. I like finding out new and interesting things about people but not when the person I'm trying to find out about said things only gives me yes or no answers with NO elaboration, my stubbornness shines through and I'm just done trying. I'm especially done when there's no flirtation to help me to know things are okay.

Granted the whole day wasn't like that. Some good conversations happened. But it's as if Nate is like Fun Bobby from Friends. Take away the alcohol and I've got nothing. When we went back to my flat after the park he was all flirty. Cuddling and kissing me. Then I got ready for us to go and meet my work friends at a pub for the house warming party.

When we got there, this Polish girl was there who works at my company and I've met her NUMEROUS times. I have even eaten lunch with her before. She introduced herself as if she was seeing me for the first time. I, at that point, had had a glass of wine (while Nate drank his flipping water) and was in a confrontational mood. Not even a month ago, she met up with a group of people from work after the Oxford vs. Cambridge boat race and we all went out. I even said she knew our mutual friend and she had no clue who he was either. Nate was squirming the whole time while I "politely" told her we had met SEVERAL times. But come on just pretend that you've met me...BECAUSE YOU HAVE. Anyway, she then blatantly hit on Nate in front of my face. I later totally called him out on it and he played dumb. Crazy card comes out again. But the correct answer would have been "Whatever TC, she's a dumb ass and ugly". But again I got none of that.

We went and grabbed dinner at a restaurant by my house and then rented a movie off of itunes and tried to watch it. Since it's hot here and I have no A/C the windows were open and it made it very hard to hear anything. Then Nate wasn't feeling well so I said he could lay down in my bed since it was cooler in my room. So we lied down and then we started kissing. And that's when it FINALLY happened (and again in the morning - not sex). But instead of being his caressing, sweet cuddling self, he barely held me. Maybe it was because it was hot but still. I brought up the whole hard to read thing and how I couldn't understand his texts and how frustrating it was. And he said I could call him or email him, too. I then told him how I've put myself out there like that before and have been burned in the past so he would have to initiate. Especially since my UK cell phone will not be on or work to receive text messages while I'm in the States. I'm sorry but I'm a planner. But now I don't even think it's worth the one sided effort.

It's entirely whateves. I've deleted his number from my phone because a.) I don't need the temptation of making contact first after sharing how I felt - to which he squirmed and couldn't get out of my flat fast enough. b.) I'm the one leaving, he should be the one telling me to have a safe trip, good surgery and that he will be in touch via email, etc. while I'm gone. And maybe that he'll miss me a little. I NEED COMMUNICATION. It shouldn't be this hard.

Folks, I don't think we have a winner.