Crush Attack? It's back!

Finally. But, of course, with complications.

Skully and I are friends. Truth be told, we may or may not have hooked up before he left for Australia in December but I know that things would never work out with us however I do enjoy hanging out with him.

Skully asked if I wanted to meet him and his friends (all guys except for 1 girl) for dinner last week. There was a guy there, Saf (South African), that I met a month prior at a mutual friend's birthday party and we both recognized each other. Skully and I caught up by the bar while we waited for our table and I learned that he was living with a girl he started seeing before he left for Oz. He's one of those guys that can't be alone. There were about 10 people at dinner all Australian except for Saf and I and we sat near each other and enjoyed witty banter. He's extremely funny and very cute. Extremely outdoorsy - he rode his bike to the pub. The only downfall is that he's one of Skully's really good friends that I've heard stories about and in which I'm sure he's heard (sexual) stories of me.

After dinner, we all went to the pub and Saf and I chatted away the rest of the night. I felt like I could be myself and I could also tell that he was hanging on my words just as much as I was hanging on his. The only problem was when I made it known that I was maybe interested in Saf to Skully after he made a comment that Saf was single. He said he still had feelings for me and that that would be weird and I gave the rebuttal that he LIVED with someone so therefore had no say. He said he would have to learn how to be my friend. A couple of awkward comments were thrown into the mix by him for added measure but Saf and I pretended to ignore it and I said repeatedly to the group that Skully and I were just friends. Skully took me aside said that I would have to ask Saf out for coffee (because apparently he's shy...which I didn't see at all) and that I would have to wait 3 dates for the first kiss. I'm not sure if he is trying to detour me (which it didn't besides having to ask him out...neg) but I can only imagine what he's saying to Saf. I can't stop thinking about him, which is a welcome distraction and I just wanted to be around him the whole night and can't wait to be around him again.

It turns out that there is a party on Saturday that these guys are also invited to. I made sure to let Saf know that I was going and that they should all go along. So we'll see. I don't know if I should be the one to initiate since I dated his friend or what. Mandy says I should just say we should hang out sometime...

I guess what I'm asking is, what's the rule for dating your ex-boyfriend's friend and how do you go about doing it?

It's not me, it's actually YOU

Hello. Sorry it's been a while. Basically I've been really depressed lately and it's to do with the sad fact that I tried to work things out with Graham again for the past 2 months. I guess I was slightly (read: really) embarrassed that I was being pathetic by wanting to be with him. Then I went to Austin for a wedding two weeks ago and texted with him while I was there but when I got back he disappeared. So after much angst I confronted him by balling my eyes out that he either wanted to be with me or not. Valentine's Day came up and he said he had plans with his friends. He wasn't willing to break them and after I poured my heart out you would think he would fall all over himself to do anything to make me happy. Short story he's selfish and I'm pretty sure talking to other people...he has a match.com account that I found (because I'm a super sleuth and I called him out on it in December that he didn't let me in because he was cheating and dating other people which he assured me wasn't the case while we were dating the first time). I didn't look to see when he logged in this time because that would only make me crazy and plus I trusted what he was telling me although his actions never matched them. I reached my breaking point and walked away on Thursday. I wasn't being fucked but more like mind fucked and those are my last words to him. I looked up his profile that night and sure enough the last time he logged in was 5 days ago. So I'm done for real this time. I still want all of the things he was claiming he would give me but I don't want it with someone like him. This whole time I thought it was me. If I just act this way he'd fall in love with me. If I wear skirts every time I see him he'll treat me differently. But he's never going to change. It's always going to be about him and he will never realize that's he's an asshole because in his mind he can do no wrong. I hope he and his cyber girlfriend* are happy. Although I feel sorry for her that he's going to do the same mind games he did to me and also other girls he's told me about in his past. I've erased every email, text etc. because they are all empty words and lies. I'm just embarrassed that I wasted so much time on someone that would never really appreciate how awesome I am. I promise to not talk about him anymore because he's just not worth it.

I don't want you to think I've been in a cave during this depression. I'm still taking my meds and going out. I just lost my appetite and dropped a couple of pants sizes.

In 2009 so far I:
-went to the New Kids on the Block concert. It was fantastic and I'm obsessed with the "Grown Man" song
-celebrated lots of my friend's birthdays in January and February with lots of dancing
-saw Cirque de Soleil Quidam...each one I see is more and more amazing although "O" still is number one
-went to Austin for a wedding and had a blast. All of my best friends (and their spouses, parents, etc.) were there and it was all very special. I saw how normal relationships work and do exist.
-celebrated Valentine's day with friends watching rugby in a pub then went to dinner (4 girls). There was a singer that was singing love songs walking around the restaurant and we were all singing along and she kept putting me on the mic. She got my details to maybe be a back up singer. I think I just launched a new career!

Coming up I have:
-spa weekend in Brighton
-Snow Patrol concert
-Friends birthdays and parties in between
-Wine club (monthly with girls from Junior League that are down to earth)
-Volunteering
-My mom coming to visit for Easter
-Hopefully get a beach holiday in this summer
-Counting Crows concert
-Bruce Springstein and Dave Matthews concert in Hyde Park
-Madonna
-Coldplay
-2 of my closest friends getting married this year...one in Houston and the other in Mexico in November

So I'm a busy bee. And I've missed you but I'm back and hopefully we'll return to our regularly scheduled programming of Texas Cinderella dating in London sans emotional drama. But in the meantime I'm going to concentrate on me and my own happiness for a while.

*I have nothing against internet dating, I just don't participate. I do, however, find it to be a problem if you're dating someone and they continue to interact on there profile and date other people and not inform you about it. Hence sarcasm.