I have a BF!!!

Wow, it's been a while! What I've been up to:
-had a blast in St. Lucia for D's wedding. Destination wedding is definitely in the cards for me...one day!
-I'm still dating the German, K and am going to the lake district in Italy (think Clooney's house on Como) in a couple weeks to meet the parents. The mom does not speak a word of English. Lots of smiling and nodding will be going on!
-I'm at home right now for my friend V's wedding - always a bridesmaid, never a bride! K sent me 36 assorted roses yesterday...so sweet!
-Things are different with K. I'm not anxious or freaking out with him. He is incredibly honest and reliable and I just feel secure with him. He gives the best bear hugs and doesn't let go and is a great cuddler! His English sometimes gets mixed up and makes for some great laughs but he also gets my sense of humor and can grasp it. He wants to take me away...and I believe he actually will!
-While everything is going well in my personal life - bf, great friends and family - my work life is not so much. I've been unhappy in my job since I moved back from NY and started at this company. It really is a great company but the job is just not for me and starting to get really political. Like sometimes I'm in a sick twisted novel...so petty. So I will be on the hunt and hope to be able to get back into retail/luxury brand again. It all depends on my flipping visa though...

So I'm happy (with exception to the job) and looking forward to this summer. Isle of Wight music festival complete with tents and wellies, Cinque Terra with my close girlfriends and hopefully Bali in the Fall. Lots going on and I promise to be better about blogging!

You hear it first

News...
I got a mass email from Mark today informing us that he will be out of London for the next year. Turns out he's moving to Paris on Monday. Slightly sad about this because a) there isn't time to say goodbye as he's going to Iceland on Thursday until Sunday and b) he's missing Skully's return from Dubai drinks on Friday. The ones I was excited to see him at so I could speak Spanish to him. He did say in our brief emails that I could come and visit after he was settled in. We'll see. Plus he'll be in London often so I'm sure I'll see him but I'm just bummed.

-Almost at the same time that I received Mark's email, Graham emailed me to tell me that he's back at our company. Luckily he's not in our building which I was totally freaking out that he was until he said he was at the satellite building. Phew! We're friends and I've come to the decision that he has autistic tendencies and until he turns them around that's all we can ever be. He turns 36 on Saturday...you would think he'd be a grown up by now.

-I can't remember if I wrote about a German guy I met at a dinner for work last year. At the time I told him to facebook friend me and he said he wasn't on it. Somehow it came out that he had a long distance girlfriend somewhere and that's when my interest level stopped. We texted back and forth a couple days after he went back to Germany but I left it since I didn't want to be a home wrecker. Cut to last week and he asked me to be his friend. I accepted and then looked at his profile and I’m his only friend. It’s like he signed up just to contact me.

He messaged me and asked me out for drinks because he’ll be in town on Thursday but I have plans…he lives in Birmingham (UK not Alabama) now which is only an hour or so away from London. I unfortunately already have plans on Thursday so I told him to let me know the next time he’s in town and we can meet up. He wrote back that he would like me to be his tour guide and that he would come down for a day. I wrote back "As long as your girlfriend won’t mind you can come on Sunday". I figure that way he won’t think he’s staying over or anything since it’s a week night. He told me not "to concern myself about a girlfriend".

Not sure if he's being sleek or speaking German-English for "we broke up" but I guess he's coming on Sunday.

Who does this?

From: Crazy IT guy that licks his hands after sneezing (WTF?)
Sent: 21 January 2010 07:00
To: Coworker
Subject: Whistling

I am fairly sure you are the culprit. But if not then my apologies and please forward onto the actual culprit.

Do you realise how distracting your whistling is? Numerous times in the last few months (and beyond) my concentration on important and critical tasks that affect the health and well being of our company have been interrupted by incessant, distracting and irritating whistling in the room. I have asked before, and I ask again. _Please_ can you stop whistling on our floor. This is an open plan office, and your noises do affect the people around you and the jobs they are doing. (I know I am not the only person distracted by the whistling.)

Thanks.

-Crazy IT guy that licks his hands (LICKS HIS HANDS!) after sneezing (again seriously, WTF?)

Suffocating in doubt

Hi all...sorry it's been soooo long. I had every intention to write while I was recovering but then my 5 weeks off work went by in a blur and here I am. It's been a pretty bad summer....one of the worsts yet.

Here it goes:

1.) My grandfather died 2 weeks ago to his battle with cancer. I flew back for the funeral and it was all surreal. It's not really real to me and I think it's weird that I haven't cried, really cried, since my hysterical sobbing at the cemetery. Christmas is not going to be the same nor is my life. From being an active, hilarious, golf playing, world traveling grandfather to one that I would speak to laying in a hospital bed to weak to even carry on a 2 minute conversation (that killed me). I must have done all of my crying the 2 weeks before his death but I still tear up. I'm just sad that my future husband* and children will never know such a hilarious man.

2.) I'm healing fine. I can now work out and am walking around normal but still have a tiny pooch that will go down with exercise and still a little sore. I'm glad the doctor got all the fibroids out but stressed to know I have endometrosis which also effects getting pregnant. Which I'm not and even if I was trying...which leads me to

3.) Boys. I could have really used bear hugs and back rubs during this time (of my grandfather) but boys basically suck right now. Have I told you how sick I am of guys promising me the world and then not delivering? Well, I am. And I just feel like I'm not worth the effort for these guys to be in a relationship. I went out with Safa and his friends and after chatting and a few cocktails I learned that surprise surprise he's not going to Bali anytime soon and when I asked him why we weren't dating then (since that was his reason for bailing) he said he was "comfy". Can I tell you how much I HATE that word? So basically he's comfortable hanging out with his friends and drinking and doesn't feel like I'm worth the effort. I'm also sick of having communication via text/email only in between seeing them in person. You can't build a relationship on this. I also don't know what to do with "I haven't counted you out (dating you)" said by another bozo. Then get off your flipping ass and actually date me.

I know what I want out of life but I'm overwhelmed with fear of getting cancer, not finding my soul mate and having kids (at a reasonable age). I'm also stressed with the time difference and trying to connect with my friends to find out how their lives are going...and I know it shouldn't be all on me to make the effort but I'm the one that chose to live here.

A little down in the dumps, which is not to say that I'm not going out...which I am a lot actually. Trying to keep myself occupied with friends and work. I just hope time heals all of this and I can be truly happy sans medication.

Goings Ons

Sorry I've been m.i.a. I've had a lot going on with work and personal stuff....here's the run down:

1) My grandfather may have lung cancer and kidney cancer. He is undergoing several biopsy’s to figure out what is wrong with him. He’s only 80 and we’re very close so this is hitting me especially hard.

2) I have to have a c-section sometime in the near future to take out fibroid tumors in my uterus and one that is pressing on my bladder. I went to the gyno because I was having irregular and brutal/painful periods and they did an ultrasound and MRI and came to this conclusion. My mom is going to have to come over for 2 weeks to help me as I will not be able to walk/work for 4 weeks. Not looking forward to it but if it will let me have a baby in the future then so be it. I had my appendix taken out laproscopically and that hurt like a biotch with 3 tiny incisions in my stomach muscles…I can only imagine what a 6 inch gash is going to feel like.

3) Of course I’ve finally mastered the art of dating; ie dating multiple people and just having fun (in a non sexual way). I’m in the narrowing down phase but it really has taken the pressure and usual psycho analyzing out of the equation and I’m actually able to enjoy dating again.
The contenders are:
Saf (South African) – The very same from February that I peed in the bush with. I randomly met up with him and some of his friends a couple of weeks ago. Needless to say Saf was three sheets to the wind and professed that we needed to date. The only consolation is that he may or may not loose his job soon and if he does then he’s off to Bali to surf for 6 months. We went out a couple of times before he left for Germany for 2 weeks to cycle the Danube river. He’s very outdoorsy and very funny and I can't wait for him to come back.
Richy (British) – nickname because he owns 3 companies and wined and dined me when we went out. I met him in March at a bar and gave him my card but didn’t go out with him until the beginning of May. We had a great time but I have this feeling he’s a player…35 still single and cash to burn. He keeps telling me he wants to see me but is yet to make plans to actually do it. He does call so that's good...but maybe not enough. He's too busy hanging out at Richard Branson's house it seems. All games and I’m not having it really.
Bartender (Aussie)– my flatmate and I had a cinco de mayo party a couple weeks ago and we went to our local pub beforehand for dinner/stomach lining. The cute Australian bartender and I had been making eyes at each other for about a month so I got up the courage to ask him how to make a margarita. He didn’t know how but I somehow invited him to our party and clichély gave him my number on a cocktail napkin. He had to go out with friends that night but he texted me and sometime in the future I’m sure I’ll try his concoction of a margarita.

4.) Is it bad that I'm stressing out that my dating life will go to pot when I have my surgery? My friends say that will be the true test of character for the person I'm dating and how they handle the situation. Blah.

5.) I’m going to Boston on Thursday to visit my friend Christina and her husband and meet their little 1 ½ year old daughter, Paige. They have another one on the way and I’m excited to hang out in Beantown. Hello lobster rolls and clam chowder! I was supposed to stay until Sunday but have changed my ticket to fly down to New Orleans on Saturday - Monday to spend time with my parents and grandparents. The grandparents don’t know that I have to have the surgery but I wanted to see my grandfather while I was in the states in case (heaven forbid) something were to happen while I’m laid up in bed and can’t fly home. I’m surprising them so hopefully they like they’re treat!

6.) Other than that, I’ve been hanging out with friends, working a lot and going to concerts like a fiend.

I missed you guys!

Positive Thoughts/Prayers Needed

I've been super busy with work but wanted to take time to ask you guys to please send positive thoughts to Golightly. She was in a very bad car accident a little over a week ago and hasn't woken up yet. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

It's funny that I've never met her but I know almost every detail about her life and she mine, through blogging. She's one of the people that I know I can count on and look forward to hearing her opinion on whatever is going on in my life at the time. I have to keep praying that one day she'll be back with her witty comments and sage advice. She has a wedding to plan and so much to live for. It really makes you sit up and think that everything can change in an instant.

For updates please visit: http://pecosgirl.blogspot.com/

It's not me, it's actually YOU

Hello. Sorry it's been a while. Basically I've been really depressed lately and it's to do with the sad fact that I tried to work things out with Graham again for the past 2 months. I guess I was slightly (read: really) embarrassed that I was being pathetic by wanting to be with him. Then I went to Austin for a wedding two weeks ago and texted with him while I was there but when I got back he disappeared. So after much angst I confronted him by balling my eyes out that he either wanted to be with me or not. Valentine's Day came up and he said he had plans with his friends. He wasn't willing to break them and after I poured my heart out you would think he would fall all over himself to do anything to make me happy. Short story he's selfish and I'm pretty sure talking to other people...he has a match.com account that I found (because I'm a super sleuth and I called him out on it in December that he didn't let me in because he was cheating and dating other people which he assured me wasn't the case while we were dating the first time). I didn't look to see when he logged in this time because that would only make me crazy and plus I trusted what he was telling me although his actions never matched them. I reached my breaking point and walked away on Thursday. I wasn't being fucked but more like mind fucked and those are my last words to him. I looked up his profile that night and sure enough the last time he logged in was 5 days ago. So I'm done for real this time. I still want all of the things he was claiming he would give me but I don't want it with someone like him. This whole time I thought it was me. If I just act this way he'd fall in love with me. If I wear skirts every time I see him he'll treat me differently. But he's never going to change. It's always going to be about him and he will never realize that's he's an asshole because in his mind he can do no wrong. I hope he and his cyber girlfriend* are happy. Although I feel sorry for her that he's going to do the same mind games he did to me and also other girls he's told me about in his past. I've erased every email, text etc. because they are all empty words and lies. I'm just embarrassed that I wasted so much time on someone that would never really appreciate how awesome I am. I promise to not talk about him anymore because he's just not worth it.

I don't want you to think I've been in a cave during this depression. I'm still taking my meds and going out. I just lost my appetite and dropped a couple of pants sizes.

In 2009 so far I:
-went to the New Kids on the Block concert. It was fantastic and I'm obsessed with the "Grown Man" song
-celebrated lots of my friend's birthdays in January and February with lots of dancing
-saw Cirque de Soleil Quidam...each one I see is more and more amazing although "O" still is number one
-went to Austin for a wedding and had a blast. All of my best friends (and their spouses, parents, etc.) were there and it was all very special. I saw how normal relationships work and do exist.
-celebrated Valentine's day with friends watching rugby in a pub then went to dinner (4 girls). There was a singer that was singing love songs walking around the restaurant and we were all singing along and she kept putting me on the mic. She got my details to maybe be a back up singer. I think I just launched a new career!

Coming up I have:
-spa weekend in Brighton
-Snow Patrol concert
-Friends birthdays and parties in between
-Wine club (monthly with girls from Junior League that are down to earth)
-Volunteering
-My mom coming to visit for Easter
-Hopefully get a beach holiday in this summer
-Counting Crows concert
-Bruce Springstein and Dave Matthews concert in Hyde Park
-Madonna
-Coldplay
-2 of my closest friends getting married this year...one in Houston and the other in Mexico in November

So I'm a busy bee. And I've missed you but I'm back and hopefully we'll return to our regularly scheduled programming of Texas Cinderella dating in London sans emotional drama. But in the meantime I'm going to concentrate on me and my own happiness for a while.

*I have nothing against internet dating, I just don't participate. I do, however, find it to be a problem if you're dating someone and they continue to interact on there profile and date other people and not inform you about it. Hence sarcasm.

Coasting

I'm alive. This has to be the longest I'm gone between posts and I miss you guys. 2009 is off to a good start. Work has been crazy and I've been catching up with friends about their holidays but finally settling into my normal routine (before I go back to Texas in 2 1/2 weeks for my childhood friend's wedding).

I hope everyone is having a good year so far!

Fast Forward

There I was, debating the great will Mr. Bean email me nonsense, when life got in the way and I'm glad it did. I did receive an email from a crush today but not Mr. Bean...

At lunch today, I told my friends about Crush Lite on my floor and how our eye contact and flirty sporadic chats were very intense, if only I knew his name.

Not even an hour after I got back, Graham stopped and introduced himself while I loaded paper awkwardly into the printer. He was about to walk through the door (near the printer) when he said it would be redundant for him to open it (our little joke because we always pass each other and he always holds the door open for me saying he should get a job holding doors open to which I have told him he's really good at it - hey, it's something). In my retardedness, I told him that there would be more doors for him to open. Then I thought did I just say that and before I could recover, he was gone.

Then ping! an hour later in my inbox:

Hi Texas, good to meet you this afternoon albeit without a door being opened. I was wandering if you’re free one lunchtime or evening if you would like lunch or a drink sometime? I realize it’s a bit forward and via e-mail but I’m probably out of here fairly soon as work has dried up a bit.

Graham

What?!?!?!?! I'm guessing he works contract and he's potentially leaving the company to go to another one and he wants to get to know me before he leaves. Swoon! I've never had someone pursue me like this. He obviously got my last name from somewhere, especially since I wasn't wearing a badge when we made our introductions...and he knew what department I was in, too. I like his forwardness and that he made the first move! Finally, no force needed!

So we have a date for drinks in Covent Garden (his idea and one of my favorite places) on Monday. I'm seriously booked for a week solid starting tomorrow with only Monday free so we'll see...!!! :)

Wanna be a balla...

I can't begin to tell you how exhausted I am from a great time in Juan Les Pins, France last weekend. Could have something to do with going to bed at 4am both nights then having my flight delayed 3 hours and getting in at 2am on Monday morning...more on that soon. Remember the great "we should grab a drink cause we're neighbors" doh moment to Mr. Bean when he called to apologize last week that he couldn't go to my party. I hadn't seen him since then until I bumped into him on the stairs yesterday. Luckily I was looking t-a-n and told him I had just gotten back from France and he told me of his Norway travels. He then asked where I lived exactly and I asked him and while we aren't exactly neighbors we are close enough and share the same tube stop. He queried about my local pubs and said we should grab that drink. Since it has been mainly me...okay ALL me making the moves (to no avail I might add) I told him to email me to sort something out. And okay I might have said "you have my email" and made the typing action with my hands (dork, yes I know this). Woulda, coulda, shoulda said, "cool, shoot me an email and we'll sort something out". Same thing, right? Or no?

So we'll see. I ran into him again today but didn't really get a chance to talk to him since I was with other peeps.

Also on a side note: Crush #2 may have called me a "Naughty Girl" when he asked about my weekend in France and I told him it was fun with lots of antics...drunken antics. Yeah, I didn't know what to do with that comment...

Redemption Song

Mr. Bean called this morning to apologize for not making my party. It seems he had to go to Norway for work last week and got in really really late on Friday. Granted, he could have TOTALLY just sent me an email to apologize but the fact that he called is good, right?

I was slightly caught off guard and was like no worries you were missed but it was a lot of fun with lots of peeps there which is always fun blah blah and he was like that's a shame I missed it and I was like well we should grab a drink since we're neighbors (no clue what came over me!) and he was like yeah definitely and a hole bunch of awkward yeahs and then I was like well I'll see you soon. Ahhhhhhhh. So we'll see... but ball is definitely in his court because hello I've thrown it out several several times so he will HAVE to make the next move.

Did I happen to mention that I moved floors and there is a cutie? No clue what his name is but I intend to find out!

Time...it flys

Wow...I didn't realize how long it was since I last posted. I guess I've been busy but not sure what I've been doing.

Anyway, the big flat warming party is on Friday and I can't wait to get my flirt on! Crush #2 has now moved to the Crush #1 spot and hopefully by the end of the night he will have his much deserved nickname and stick around in this little story! Mr. Bean is still in the running but I'm digging #2 more these days... (my friend saw his friend give Crush #2 a chin/head nod when I entered the diner last week - it's the little things people)!

I think I have the Shadow thing under control and one of my friend's has offered to do damage control when he tries to get up in my Kool Aid.

Hope all is well in your worlds and I know I'll have plenty to report after the party and pics of the new place - promise!

Giddy in my Girliness

I finally saw Crush #2 today as I was walking out to lunch (I haven't seen him in almost a month). He was standing with a group of people and I felt him see me while I waited my turn to swipe out of the turnstile. I passed by him and said hi with a wave then left with my friends. I was hoping he would go to the same restaurant with his friends but he didn't. I was kicking myself for not making more conversation but there really were a lot of people standing around so it would have been a little much.

Anyway, 3pm rolled around and I got an email from him in response to my flat warming party that my flatmate and I are having in 2 weeks. I sent the mass email on the 23rd of June before I went on holiday and so that people (read: my crushes) could put it on there calendar. He said he "plans to be there!" and "thanks for the kind invitation" - would sound gay coming from any other guy but so decidedly English I flipping love it! I wrote back "cool...glad you can make it!".

I already knew he was coming because one of my friend's brought up my party yesterday to him in conversation and he said "oh I'm definitely going to that" which said friend immediately reported back to me! But it feels good to get confirmation from the actual source today!

Mr. Bean will also be in attendance which I'm excited about as well. And also the Shadow which, you know, I'm not. But it should be interesting how I juggle the two (three) that evening.

Don't worry I'm going to play it very cool in this next dating/whatever-this-is endeavour. I feel like I've learned lessons in sharing too much and doing "things" too early that I'm ready for a clean slate...I don't know if Mr. Bean/Crush #2 and I will even click but they both make me nervous and that's always a good start!

Nosey

I'm back and right in the thick of getting back in the groove of work (boo!) but I promise to write soon about my travels (complete with pics and antics).

Honestly, I'm still recovering from Sunday when I managed to open my bedroom door INTO my nose...you know the one I just got operated on...before heading to the Goo Goo Dolls, Ben Harper and Counting Crows concerts at the O2 Festival - which were all awesome by the way. I did, however, look like Marsha Brady for a second and thought that I had effed everything up but it's slowly getting back to normal (or as normal as it was before the clumsiness)!

Also, seems that the Shadow still has NOT gotten the hint that I'm not interested in him, no matter how many times I do not reply back to his gazillion emails. He messaged me through Facebook (I would normally just delete him but we work together and it would be AWKWARD)while I was gone to say he hoped I had a good holiday and a happy 4th. Just creepy to know he was thinking about me so early in the morning and remembering my American holiday. So I didn't respond and decided it was time to add "Nate" as a friend for the Shadow to see and hopefully back off - he still comes by my desk for awkward conversations. Monday I found out that Crush #2 is now on his project and sitting right by him. I just hope the Shadow doesn't tell him I have a boyfriend and ruin my chances (whatever they may or may not be)!

My fake boyfriend's hot, no? :)

*Thanks to Mandy for editing out the Polo Ralph Lauren logo in the background...yeah he's also a model.

Sightings of the Third Kind

I've been back a week and hadn't had a Work Crush #2 sighting until yesterday. We were at the same restaurant for lunch with our own work colleagues. My friends and I were ordering ours to go so I chatted with him while we waited. The conversation was good and somewhat flirty. It just so happens that The Shadow was also dining there and got a table with his friends next to #2. My friends and I left and I said a platonic goodbye to The Shadow and then a flirtier goodbye to #2 before leaving. I can only imagine if #2 (on the off chance) said anything to his friends about me that The Shadow would pipe up and tell him I had a "boyfriend".

______________________________________________________

Last night, I met my friend Amran for drinks and dinner in Notting Hill. He's moving back to Australia soon and is having a leaving party in a couple of weeks but wanted to have some friend time with him before he leaves. He gave me a warning that Skully (they are now friends) and his girlfriend would probably be at his party and that he didn't want any drama. I told him there wouldn't be any drama from my side as I was totally over Skully. Just as long as the "psycho" (as described by Skully) girlfriend didn't do anything, the night would be cool. Not an hour after saying these words, who do we bump into on Portobello Road? The girlfriend. And I have a feeling she totally knew who I was when Amran introduced us: Texas. Blonde. American accent. Work mate of Amran's (and Skully's). It doesn't take a rocket scientist. After leaving her, Amran agreed that she seemed a bit flustered. She did seem very normal and actually nice and I don't think there will be any drama unless Skully stirs it up in which I will not be participating.

______________________________________________________

At lunch today, we went to grab a sandwich from the local bakery and I saw Mr. Bean out of the corner of my eye. I calmed my blood pressure down and as we were walking out I said hi to him and asked what project he was on since I hadn't seen him around. He told me and then what floor in my building. I'm so relieved because I thought he had moved to the other building where I would never see him but now I have greater chances of bumping into him. My friend thought he was hot and asked who I would choose between him and #2 (who is also hot).

I'm just lucky I have the option to potentially, maybe make that choice. :) Being single does have its advantages!!!

Embarrasing moment: While walking to the bakery, my friend was giving a detailed account, if not way too much information even for me, about her sex life. I proclaimed rather loudly that "I hadn't had sex in forever" thinking that no one was around. Just then a guy that sits on my floor passed us and I can now no longer look in his direction. Mortified!

Can I just tell you...

• Wearing a thong for the first time in 3 weeks is brutal...especially when you're in "healing" mode. But panty lines are a no go when working with dirty old men.
• Dodging the Shadow proved to be somewhat successful. I think I'm in Phase Out 2. While I did get the morning email today (which I did not respond to), he asked me later (when he stopped by my desk for the 10th time) what I was doing this weekend and I told him hanging out with Nate (I'm not). Hopefully he's starting to get it already.
• I've had cramps all day and not those kind of cramps. More of the Mirolax kind. My doctor put me on a little regime to keep me regular but it seems I took too much today. Oops. Need to dial it down.
• I got this little gem while I was home and my feet are uber soft, which is a huge fete (no pun intended, really!) especially in the summer months. Freaking genius!
• My boss is hilarious. In his manager's meeting today he told everyone, "Texas had a successful surgery and would now like to be called George". This is all day people!
• I'm feeling good about life in general.
  
  Things are grand! :)

The Works

I'm back in London after voluntarily torturing myself for the past 2 weeks. It went something like this (note: too much information definitley shared):

May 15th, Thursday - I had my deviated septum surgery and everything went fine until I woke up from the anesthesia and my world was spinning. Needless to say I threw up the blood that had pooled in my stomach during the operation and didn't think I could make it getting into a moving car to go home. I sat in the recovery room for an hour and the nurse then wheeled me to my mom's car. I had to get out of the chair and walk to keep from vomiting more. The nurse kept apologizing for the "movement". She said that word one too many times and I said "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to not say that word anymore" since I was definitely feeling the flipping movement.

I wasn't in any pain, only very uncomfortable and couldn't breathe since there were splints in my nose...this continued for a week before I got them out. I had some bleeding from my nose as well but just kept a tissue handy to wipe it up. I had to take antibiotics the size of horse pills and this then lead to a raging yeast infection. I didn't think things could get much worse down there until my monthly visitor decided to make an early appearance. Awesome!

I kept a low profile during the weekend except for a trip for Mexican food with my old roommate and her fiance with my blood catcher taped under my nose...so cute. Other than that, I felt extremely light headed and stayed indoors.

Tuesday, I had an appointment with the butt doctor. A little back story (no pun intended!), I'm a "strainer" so instead of having an internal roid, I instead had an external roid that was the vain of my existence. Very painful and so I got it removed. The doctor initially walked in with his hot doctor son but quickly exited and came back with a female nurse. Can you imagine spreading my cheeks in front of hot doctor son?!?

Holy mother effer! If that wasn't the worst pain I've ever experienced! I called my mom to tell her I was now bleeding from every orifice! Lovely.

This procedure caused me to walk extremely slowly and I was very cautious of how I sat. I won't even tell you that every time I had to drop the kids off at the pool, I had to brace myself for the pain. Oh the pain. It's now healing nicely, thankfully, and I don't feel like I'm shatting knives.

Wednesday, I shuffled into the dermatologist office to get a few moles removed. He decided to take off 2 extra ones that he was concerned about. This irked me more than it was painful. Just the thought of having 4 sliced off skin areas gave me chills.

I asked him if there was a cream for under eye circles, to which he examined my face with those magnifying glasses and proclaimed I had "lots of wrinkles". WTF? I get mistaken for a 23 year old all the time.

Earlier that day I got my splints removed from my nose which finally let me breathe through my nose instead of being the mouth breather I was for the week. Holy hell those splints were long and HUGE...no wonder I couldn't breathe!

Thursday, I had to sit in the car, with all of the above problems, for 5 hours to go to Louisiana to visit my grandparents. My parents dropped me off in Baton Rouge while they went to New Orleans for a couple of days for a wine festival. Bastards! :)

I was stuck with my 80 year-old grandfather (whom is one of the funniest people I know but was in a bad mood because he had surgery a week before on his heel and was hopping around the house on one foot) and my blunt grandmother. An example of her bluntness: We were shopping and ran into some of her friends. One of them was looking at a pair of pants and my grandmother asked if she was going to try them on and the lady said they didn't have her size. My grandmother picked up an XL and said it would fit her. The lady protested and my grandmother looked her up and down and said she thought they would fit...since they ran small -great save grandma. I was mortified. Luckily she thought I was "tiny" this trip and was force feeding me.

My parents and I came back after the long weekend and I was finally starting to feel much better.

I met up with my best friend for shopping and sushi on Tuesday and did way too much damage!

Wednesday, I went to the dentist (family friend - my mom's best friend's son-in-law) for a cleaning and a filling. I always get the nitrous oxide and for some reason with his stuff I get effed up. He had asked me about a project in Australia that I could some day get on at work before giving me the goods. Five minutes into the gas, I was in the flipping Outback. After a while on that stuff, I started to get nauseous and took the mask off my face. The rest of the day I was out of commission with dizziness. Next time, I'll tell him not to crank it up. Oops. My mouth was so numb 12 hours later. I hate that feeling!

Thursday, I went to my family doctor that I've been going to since I was 7. She hooked me up with my Xanax and called me a junkie.

That night I got my friends together for happy hour at a local bar in midtown since I hadn't seen them all 2 weeks. I loved hanging out and catching up my peeps but I'm super glad about my decision to stay in London. I'm not invisible here. I can't explain it but that's how I feel when I go out there.

Friday, I got a Brazilian wax and told her not to wax the back door like she normally does. Oh the pain that would have caused! Then, like a dumbass, I drove around Houston with the sunroof open to get some sun before I left -my flight wasn't until 10.30pm. (I could have had a killer tan but I felt like crap so I didn't lay out like I wanted over the 2 weeks home). I ended up with my right shoulder and arm burnt to a crisp. So sexy...a one-sided tan.

Then I hopped on the plane (read: passed the eff out and don't even remember take off -thanks Xanax!) and came back to Londontown. I'm looking forward to being back in the office...well sort of... and not working from home anymore...as much as I thought I would like that. I felt so unorganized and out of the loop with my colleagues being 6 hours ahead.

I'm excited about starting my "new and improved" life!

(I got all of my "treatments" done on US insurance before I'm officially on UK insurance July 1st).

Thou shall be named...Cock Blocker

I haven't had a chance to tell you guys about the Happy Hour I organized for people I work with in order to get to know them better back in April. Mainly to get to officially meet Mr. Bean and another cute coworker, but I digress. The turn out was awesome and everyone keeps asking when I'm going to put together another one.

The only bad thing that came out of it is that I have a stalker. Not a bonafide look-over-your-shoulder-everywhere-you-go but a blow-up-your-email-and-stop-by-your-desk-fifty-million-times-a-day one. My boss has resorted to humming "Love is in the air" every time he comes around.

I initially (before I knew the crazy) had a goal to get to be friends with him on Facebook because I was pretty positive that there were incriminating drunken pics of me from the company Christmas party and I wanted to see them myself. We would say hi and talk in groups and then somehow one day we were friends. Which was fine. Nothing creepy at all.

One night out, my friends and I ran into him and we all hung out. No harm. That night we became friends on Facebook and thankfully the pics weren't too bad. I had planned a Oxford vs. Cambridge boat race party at a pub on the Thames and somehow he popped up. We weren't that good of friends for me to invite him and no one else invited him either. Hmmm...

Then I started getting emails from him. I chalked it up to friends so I would respond but not all interesting like just nice and friendly. Then they started coming before I would have a chance to reply back to the first one. Who does that? So I reined in my replies.

Then the Happy Hour happened and while I was the "host", I was mingling around the bar. I finally got to meet Mr. Bean, who is funny in person, and his friends. Then I would feel "the shadow" at my side, ANSWERING questions that Mr. Bean would ask me. For example: Mr. Bean and I live one tube stop away but don't see each other in the mornings/evenings.

Mr. Bean: How come I never see you on the tube?
Me: (about to speak)
Shadow: Texas isn't a morning person.

WTF? I don't wake up next to the flipping Shadow...but to Mr. Bean it appears that I do. If that isn't cock blocking, I don't know what is.

So CB's emails continued and mine stopped. He even asked what I was doing one weekend and I told him and he asked who with and I told him with Nate the guy I'm dating. Thinking he would get the hint that way. No dice.

Can I just tell you that in the time that I have been gone, all 15 days, I have received 12 emails him via Facebook and work email. I responded only once through work email to thank him for inquiring about my surgery and that I would see him when I got back in the office in a couple of weeks. I didn't want to seem like a jerk when he clearly was concerned but that is all that I responded. The emails did not stop. I got a "have a good flight home one" and then a "welcome back to London" one today. Who keeps emailing when clearly the person has not responded and appears likely to never respond.

I'm nervous about what tomorrow will bring. Everyone I work with knows about the stalker. He's even working on a project now with my boss since I've been gone. Oh joy to have him in our area more than necessary. I might have to have a talk with him.

You better believe that Nate is my "boyfriend" now.

But why is it the ones we don't want, can't get enough and the ones we do want, can't get away fast enough?

Meet the Friends

So things with Nate are good and I didn't scare him away with the crazy. I heard from him this week and we have plans to meet up with several groups of his friends in Hyde Park today to enjoy the 80 degree temperatures and hopefully work on our tans! I'm feeling the pressure to be ON but I think it will be lots of fun so I'll let you know the outcome. We might go to one of my friend's house warming party so the shoe will be on the other foot...I'm excited to see him which is always a good sign!

In other news, I won't be homeless! Since I'm moving here permanently, I'm essentially being cut off from expenses and my $3,200 (everything is made out of gold here) a month flat. I'm moving in with HM (aka Lamey Lamerson) but I think it will work out fine. After searching for several weeks and seeing nothing but shit holes, we found a perfect flat one tube stop away from where I currently live (choice location) and I'm super excited about it! We don't move in until June 15th but we're both going out of the country next week and wanted this sorted before we left.

So now all I have to stress about is work, my 10 hour flight home (of course cured by Xanax) and my deviated septum surgery on Thursday. Since I can't fly for 2 weeks after due to pressure, my company is letting me work from home which is awesome. I'm secretly glad I don't have to trek to the Houston office looking like I just got a nose job!

Times up...but not really

Well, Lent is over and I'm officially/unofficially on the market again. The 40 days and 40 nights were actually really good for me. It made me see what I want out of a relationship.

Don't hate but I met up with Skully at the beginning of Lent (only because I saw him at work and decided that we could be friends, for work sake). I was reminded yet again why I'm not supposed to be with him - because he's a high strung ass - but I might have had a weak moment of kissing (the 3 glasses of wine made me do it and the devil). I quickly snapped out of it when I remembered that 1) he has a girlfriend he dumped me for and 2) I am sick of being the flipping side dish. I deserve to be the main course! So I asked him to leave and told him we couldn't be friends. I feel sorry for his girlfriend though. Lots of stuff could have gone way further but call me crazy for not wanting to feel like shit the morning after. Enough is finally enough.

I stayed on Lent for an additional day to repent for my slip up!

Anyway, I took the time to finally grieve over Kanger - I know pathetic - but it was much needed since there were the band-aids distracting me. Now I don't look for him everywhere I go in the city and my Facebook "browsing" has been kept in check, which is a huge fete.

So I'm ready. I'm not actively pursuing anything but I'm ready. I know I will feel that way about someone again. I don't need to rush anything because, big news, I'm in the process of negotiating to stay here permanently (the work stress I was vague about a few weeks ago).

I'm just going to let life happen. I've booked up my calendar with fun friend activities and who knows who I might meet while doing them!!!