My name is TC and I'm a DUMBASS

I called my landlord today to tell him that my boiler is leaking and that my washer and dryer are not working. He answered but seemed really distracted and asked for me to call him back in 5 minutes. I agreed and hung up and thought that was soooo rude - If you can’t talk then don’t flipping answer.

I let 20 minutes go by and I called him back and started talking again about my washer/dryer etc. There were some more pauses and then he started talking and I hang up because I realized that I was not talking to Niall "The Landlord", but Niall "The 23 Year Old" whom I haven’t spoken to since early March!!!!!!

He called back and I was laughing at my stupidity and told him my landlord's name is Niall and I thought I was talking to him and that I was soo sorry. He seemed to think it was pretty funny as well. We chatted for a bit then I let him go back to work since it was 9:30am. Before we hung up, I told him we should catch up sometime. We shall see.

I called my real landlord finally and the problems are fixed! And to make matters more absurd, a week ago I put in my phonebook Landlord Niall to avoid this ordeal and without thinking called Niall thinking it was the Landlord.

They have now been changed to NIALL and NIALL - LANDLORD.

Double Trouble

Kanger and I made plans to eat Thai food and bowling on Thursday night and I was super excited about it. Our conversations and texts leading up to the night had been great banter and I knew we were going to have a great time and we actually did. We talked non stop during dinner and bowling (in which he kicked my ass hard core). We were on our way to the tube station at around midnight after being kicked out of the game area of the bowling alley (tube closes at 12:30), when Kanger asked if I wanted to get another drink at a bar we knew stayed open later. We had a blast at the bar as well. He is super funny, too. Totally key. We lost track of time and ended getting kicked out of that bar at 2am. I had to get up to go to work at 6am and he was going to Manchester on an 8am train to watch rugby with his friends. It was starting to rain when we had our 3 short-long pecks. He was a total gentleman. He told me he would look for The Killers tickets for Sunday and let me know how successful he was later.

I went to work exhausted on Friday, but super excited to actually be excited about someone new. I hadn't had that feeling in a very long time and it was refreshing. I got a text from Kanger from Manchester asking me how I was feeling and for me to have a good Friday. We texted back and forth and then I got a text from him that said that he had a great night on Thursday and that we needed to do it again soon and that we would talk soon and for me to have a great weekend. Um, what? This would have been fine if HE hadn't been talking about going to The Killers on Sunday all week and then even mentioning it again on our date. So I was tres confused and slightly upset but decided not to let it ruin my weekend. I figure I would talk to him when I talked to him and he obviously did have fun since he was thinking about me in Manchester but he was just being an idiot about the whole Sunday concert thing.

I stayed in on Friday to catch up on sleep and American television when Niall texted me and asked if I wanted to watch the Ireland/England rugby game. I thought what the heck and agreed to meet him with my friend, HM (since I had already made plans to watch it with her as well). I went to sleep happy that I wouldn't be sulking about Kanger.

I woke up on Saturday to find a text from Kanger from the night before saying how they lost the game and that they were going out. Confusing much? I thought we weren't talking for the rest of the weekend, but I texted him back and we continued to text the rest of the day (in which The Killers never came up). Fine. Whatever.

HM and I met up with Niall and we tried to find a pub to watch the game everywhere but they were all crowded so we settled on the Texas Embassy where a handful of people were. Niall was explaining the game to us and we were drinking and it ended up to be fun stuff. Then Kanger texted me that he was off to his coworkers engagement party and that he had looked for tickets and was going to call about them in the morning. Finally! I texted him to have fun and to let me know about the tickets.

Three drinks later, while Niall was kissing me on the cheek, I looked up and saw Aussie coming up the stairs to the bar. Fucking A! There wasn't anywhere for me to run and hide so I pulled myself away from Niall and went and gave Aussie and his friend that I had met before a hug. I tried to act as normal as possible. Aussie had emailed me on Friday morning to see if I was busy and I told him that I actually already had plans that night (with my bed) and hello it's the day of-negative! I figured my phase out was complete and that I would never see him again but no, he had to pick one bar in all of London on the same night I was there, with someone else. Aussie and his friend decided to order a drink and STAY and chat with us. All the while, Niall was totally being all flirty and I stood there with my hands in my pockets or my arms crossed. HM found it extremely entertaining to watch me squirm. It was super awkward and Aussie, I could tell was hurt by all of it, but hello we weren't exclusive and if you really liked me you wouldn't try to make plans with me so late in the week. They finally left and we hugged goodbye and gave me a look like he was walking away with his tail in between his legs. I hate making anyone feel like that because I totally know how that feels. I really hope he's okay!

After the Australians left, HM, Niall and I had a couple more drinks and paid our tab. HM went home, but Niall and I went to Waxy's (because yes I like to live on the edge and have the off chance of running into Kanger's friends there since we did meet them there last weekend-I was on the look out and I didn't see any of them, thank God!) Niall and I found a corner of the bar to enjoy our drinks and we kissed a little bit. I've decided I'm a kissing bandit-that never hurts anyone! Niall is fun but way young and he finally learned my age but said it wasn't an issue. We parted ways at the tube station and he told me he wanted to cook dinner for me soon. We shall see.

When I got home, I got a text from Kanger that said if he couldn't find tickets, we should still do something. So, I sit here giddy that I will see Kanger for the concert or for something else today! I can't wait!

How Texas Got Her Groove Back

I spoke to Niall on Thursday night and was 95% sure that we had made plans to meet up on Saturday night. 95% sure because his accent was so thick that I couldn't ask him to repeat himself for verification. For the fourth time. So when he called yesterday afternoon to confirm, I knew we were on.

We decided to meet at Waxy's later that night. I brought along Mandy (who looks so great and as always was so much fun!) and my friend HM. He was cuter than I remembered and had the v-neck sweater with button down shirt-jean combo that I love on guys. He brought along his Italian friend. Sweet. (Insert sarcasm here.) Actually it wasn't that bad having the Italiano there. He was quite entertaining and really nice. Mandy and HM had found a group of guys to talk to so I felt comfortable just talking to Niall by myself. The banter between us was quite good and I could actually understand him. When Waxy's closed at midnight we made our way to another Irish bar that stayed open until 3am. At that time it was just me, Niall and Mandy and our topic of conversation migrated over to Niall's PhD work. Apparently in Niall's case he went from graduating university and straight into working on his PhD. He's been working on it for a year now. Are you following? Mandy made it obvious that she was following and gave me a look with raised eyebrows that Niall caught onto. He said, "I can tell what Mandy's thinking". And I played dumb by asking him what he was talking about. He quipped, "She's thinking that I'm just a child". At that point my curiosity got a hold of me and I said, "No!...Why how old are you?". "23". WTF? Then of course he reciprocated the question and I told him to guess, which he did in numbers well under my real age. I never divulged the truth and it was our coy little game the rest of the evening.

While Niall went to the bar to get us all more drinks, two American guys started chatting to us. They were really nice and funny and when Niall returned they both started chatting to Mandy and gave Niall and I our space. Niall and I at this point were getting a little more touchy feely with each other and we eventually starting kissing in the middle of the bar. (I later learned that the guys talking to Mandy were questioning why I was mugging down with a 23 year old when I was clearly 28- the guys were 31). I looked like the biggest craddle robber!

Niall is fun and cute and the accent doesn't hurt. I'll go out with him again but I don't see this as a long term relationship by any means. Mandy dated a younger guy once and informed me that their kind are very eager to please. Which would be a refreshing change from the Aussie.

Whom by the way told me on Wednesday night, while I was gently pushing him out of my room after the longest make out session in history, that he would call me the next day. His next day was on a Saturday night with a voicemail to see what I was doing that night. Um no. And by longest make out session, I don't mean we were getting busy and to the good stuff for that long. I'm saying that it took forever to get to the good stuff and when we did, he sucked. I was rolling my eyes in my head and watching the clock to make sure he would make his tube on time. When it was his turn, he couldn't perform and blamed it on the three Guinness's he had at the pub. Right. Whateves. The weird thing is that during the few times we've "made out" he has never tried to migrate his peter to my who ha. Strange? I think yes. It's the whole timid thing that is a huge turn off. He called and texted again this morning to see what I was doing today but I didn't answer or text back. Negative. It's the beginning of the Phase Out.

Back to Niall- I'll hang out with him again and just have fun. You've got to kiss a few (read: seems like a hundred million) frogs before you find your prince, right? I just hope my prince is somewhere right around the corner.

*I actually really wish that it was just Mandy and me at the bar last night picking up guys-but Mandy did a good job of that all by herself!!! We may meet up with the first group of guys she met later this week.

An Irish, English and Australian walk into a bar

After a long day of shopping, my friend HM and I went to a pub we heard great things about named Waxy O'Connors. It was like an Alice in Wonderland maze of rooms upon rooms of more bars and tons of people. Good looking our age people. We were in heaven! We grabbed a drink and I eyed a cute boy at the end of the bar. He moved over to a group of people sitting nearby where a tall guy was zipping up his pants and rebuckling his belt. Tall guy caught me witnessing this act and came over. He told me it was a long story. I took his word for it! It turned out he was Irish and HM and I had a tough time understanding him which we all joked about. While we were all talking, I kept making eyes at cute guy that was at the bar. It turns out he was friends of the tall indecent exposure guy and he came over and joined our conversation. His name was Niall (pronounced Nile-like the river) and he was Irish as well but lived in London unlike his visiting friend. He was a little easier to understand and fun to talk to. We chatted for a while and then Niall and his friends had to go to east London to change clothes and were going to come back into Central London to go out. He took my number and told me he would call when they were on their way.

Five minutes after they left, a guy walked by and was like "My friend said that you were fit so I had to see for myself and he is correct!". I was a little confused by the term "fit" and he explained it meant good looking. How flattering and embarrassing at the same time. He bought us a drink and his friend that thought I was "fit" came over and introduced himself. His name was Martyn and he was English. He was a rugby player complete with muscular build and two missing teeth. He was very cute and hilarious but the missing teeth...kind of a deal breaker. We hung out with Martyn and his friends for the majority of the night and had a great time. It turned out that Martyn was going to be at the same concert as HM and I later this week. I asked him who he was going with and he told me a lady friend. He continued to blatantly hit on me and asked for my number. I kept denying him saying he obviously had a girlfriend. He explained it was very casual. Right so casual you got your concert tickets months in advance...uh huh. I finally gave in and told him to call me after his date went wrong. I figured he would be fun to hang out with as friends. HM later told me he had a picture of a girl our age for his screen saver on his phone and he changed it when he got my number...shady! During all of this I totally forgot that the Aussie* had texted earlier asking to meet up and that I had told him I would text him when we found a pub. Oops.

Martyn's friends wanted to go to another pub and asked us to go with them but we declined and stayed there. It was then that I texted Aussie to come to Waxy's. He texted me he was on his way. Two minutes later Niall texted me to tell me that he and his friends were on there way back to the pub and that he hoped I was still there. Fuck! I decided that if Niall got there first I would explain that we had to go and help out a friend and that I hoped to see him soon and if Aussie got there first we would let him get one drink and then we would change locations as to not run into Niall. Luckily, Aussie got there first and we left. Awkward situation averted!

We ended the night at the pub around the corner from my hotel. I was already tipsy having had 5 Bacardi and Diet Cokes without dinner (reminder my retarded limit is 3). HM caught the tube home and Aussie and I went back to my room so that I could order room service. After pigging out on fries, Aussie and I started making out. An excruciatingly slow make out session where he was too afraid to be bold and make some moves. Aunt Flow had finally disappeared and I was ready for some action. Aussie was a receiver and NOT a giver. After working some hand magic in which he convulsed (I had never been witness to this) and told me I was the best he had ever had, I guess my turn slipped his mind. WTF? I now know what it means to have blue balls. I was pissed and worked up at the same time and could do nothing about it. Better to know this now rather than later. We went to sleep and woke up around lunch time. Bad breath and B.O. wafted in my direction from his side of the bed and I decided it was time to grab some food. I can deal with morning breath but not wearing deodorant is a no no, especially if you are trying to cuddle with me by placing me in your armpit nook. Ahhhhh! Negative.

On the way out, I checked my phone and noticed several texts from Martyn telling me that he went back to Waxy's to hang out and that he was disappointed I wasn't there. I didn't text him back. He can contact me again if he wants but I was hoping I would have a text from Niall. No dice. Aussie and I went shopping near Harrod's and then went up to Covent Garden. It was okay company. I found myself carrying the conversation and I think both people should hold their own weight. During the excursion with Aussie, Niall texted me to apologize for not being able to get the "lads" back to central London and that he hoped we could meet up sometime. This made me secretly smile but I had to keep my excitement at bay while with the Aussie. We finally parted ways and Aussie said he would call me tomorrow. Whatever.

I just texted Niall back, "No worries...hope you guys had fun! Meeting up again sounds like a great idea... "

Now the ball is in his Irish court!

UPDATE: Niall texted me back tonight: Cool so ill give ye (yes-not a typo) a call during the week to organise something say for next weekend. So talk soon and have a good week!

mmmhmmmm!:)

*Aussie and I had gone out a couple more times since our first date and he was growing on me and we had fun each time which is why I invited him to meet us...not knowing Waxy's would be such a meat market!