It's all Greek to me

Tomorrow morning (at the butt crack), I will be on my way to the beautiful Greek Isles with Blake and crew! Since it's pretty much freezing balls here, the 95 degree temperature will be a very welcomed change.

I'm envisioning fun, sun and a hangover that just won't quit.

Αντίο για τώρα!

Isn't it Ironic?

Yesterday I found a great blog, Model Behavior. I was scanning her archives and found one on an Italian playboy she palled around with when she lived in Milan. It reminded me of my own Italian...although he was never really mine, but I digress. I was leaving work and skype popped up that Gianluca was online. I didn't think anything of it and got on the tube to go to my flat. I called Mandy to wish her a happy birthday and while I was talking to her, a message from Gianluca popped up on my laptop. We chatted for a while and when he didn't answer me after I asked him how things were going with him, I went about my business of getting ready for bed. (The old me would have been furious!)

Turns out that if you have two (of the same) skype accounts on at the same time there is a glitch. Needless to say, this morning I found his responses on my work computer. So while I was thinking he didn't respond to me (as a friend mine you), in essence, I didn't respond to him. Whoops! But how random that I find a blog about a torrid affair with a womanizing Italian and it reminds me of Gianluca and he contacts me on that day! Ironic, no? Maybe I'll look him up while I'm in Tuscany for Thanksgiving. We'll see.

The universe never ceases to amaze me. It also gives me hope that after all this time, I no longer have no feelings towards Gianluca and someday (soon I hope) the same will be true with Kanger.

In which I am retarded

Today while waiting for the train, I reviewed my received call log and noticed a number that I didn't recognize. The missed call was at 7:31am on August 4th, the morning after the yelling and screaming (and crying) match with Kanger.

For the entire train ride home I kept coming up with all of these different scenarios in my head: Maybe Kanger called (from his flat phone hence the unknown number) when he got home that morning from his night out with the boys to talk about what had happened. Maybe if I called the number to see if someone with an Australian (Kanger or his flatmate) or South African accent (flatmate's live-in girlfriend) answered, I would know if it was indeed his flats number. I could be all "sorry I think I have the wrong number" when they answered. A part of me wanted to see if Kanger was somewhat of a decent guy, and actually checked on me after I was clearly upset.

I couldn't wait to find out - I'll admit it - my scenario also included Kanger answering and then when I did my wrong number schpeal he would be like "Tixas, is that you? I tried calling you on Friday but I punked out and didn't leave a message. I'm so sorry about that night....".

So I called as soon as I got in the door and

MY FLIPPING LAND LINE RANG.

Because I don't know my own number (obviously) and the morning of August 4th, still drunk from the night before, I called my mobile phone to see if it still worked because hello? Kanger hadn't called me back like he said he would. (Shocker!) It all came back to me.

I had the biggest belly laugh about this because sometimes you have to laugh to keep yourself from crying.

Verdict: I'm retarded (and pathetic) and Kanger still remains an ass.

High Maintenance

I thought I could handle a purely physical kind of "relationship" to detach myself from actually feeling anything and just go with the flow. But I was wrong.

I’m not remotely interested in having a real life relationship with the COG but the fact that on Friday morning he point blank ignored me and read the paper the whole 45 minutes on the train to work, put me off. It’s called the principle of things. The principle that not an hour earlier he was “all about me” and then once things were consummated, he detached from the situation.

It would be fine that his silence was due to a hang over from the night before but this has happened on more than one occasion. It’s always some excuse or the other when I call him out on it but on Friday he had the nerve to say that I was high maintenance and asked if I was left in my crib as a baby. Wtf? Who says shit like that? No, COG I actually have standards (that I seem to have put away for all of summer) and don’t really enjoy the feeling of being used so, yes, in a way I guess I am high maintenance. And I don't think there is anything wrong with that. So I’m ending this shenanigan with the COG tomorrow. Plain and simple.

UPDATE: Cheeky bastard isn't in today. Figures. {{shakes fists}}

*On my way home from work on Friday afternoon, Kanger called but I missed it by one ring before it went to voicemail (it came up as just a number and didn't realize it was him until after the fact). He didn’t leave a message or text. I didn’t call or text him back-I erased his number from my missed calls before I went out on Friday night, again. It leaves me to wonder if his friends were using his phone again or if he was actually calling to apologize for everything that happened. And if he was thinking that I would text/call him back when I saw that I missed his call or if he's going to call ever again. It leaves me kicking myself that if I would have answered the flipping phone in time I could have found out and now I may never know. AHHHHHH.

Mr. Dwindle

Days with the COG may be slowly dwindling. He's moving to another project in another office location soon. Proximity was really the convenience of this "thing". We shall see. Might actually be a blessing in disguise...

But we're going out (mind you with our coworkers so we will have to keep it all in check, but I know where he'll end up...and it's not on my couch) on Thursday so maybe that will be our last tryst - I haven't decided.

Recappage

To follow in Golightly's footsteps, I'll break down what has been going on in my world over the last couple of weeks by category:

Africa

Was interesting. I did learn a lot while there and I'd always wanted to go but it was more like camping than the safari I had dreamt of and that little thing called work. Being with your boss for 14 hours 4 days straight got a little draining but I think that would happen with anyone in 130F heat.

Spain

Blake and I had a b.l.a.s.t! We soaked up the sun during the day and partied hard at night. I'd always wanted to go to Nikki Beach (sadly because of Tara Reid's Wild On.. show). It was full of beautiful people. Blake was in heaven. I had to constantly wipe the drool off his mouth. The second night we found this great place called Puerto Banus with a string of bars that spilled out into the streets. Let's just say free shots all night long contributed to me being holed up in the bathroom our last day. Luckily I rallied and was able to enjoy the sun. We have our Greece trip all lined up with his roommate and another one of her friends for the end of the month. Should be good times!

Kanger

We played tennis. He won, only because I was afraid to fall on my ass (again in front of him) on the AstroTurf and sand. We grabbed drinks after and talked about everything and at his suggestion he said I could have a rematch when I got back from Texas 2 weeks later. Stupidly I was drinking red wine and told him that he should get off at my stop after making out with him all the way to the tube station. He said he didn't have his clothes for work the next day and to his credit he does live 40 minutes away and 40 minutes to work. So he said that after our rematch he would bring his clothes and stay over. Fast forward to this week (2 weeks later) and we texted back and forth with him not suggesting what he suggested before I left. Are we seeing a pattern? So in my stupidness I said we should hang out before he leaves for his trip (in 3 weeks he's traveling for 2 months and may or may not work in London before moving back to Australia in December). That text was on Tuesday and silence and crickets. So me not wanting to look like I lover him again, I called him out once and for all in the form of this text on Thursday night:

"Deja fucking vu. Why say shit that you had no intention of even happening? You can treat that as a rhetorical questions since you're selective in your replies. I get that you're traveling and moving back but it doesn't make it any less dick or fucked up - two things I didn't think you were."

And you can guess what kind of response I got from that. His signature move.

*Update: I received a text from Kanger on Friday night. I had been at the pub with friends and was on my way home at midnight since I was still jet lagged. I could tell he was wasted and he said he wanted to meet up. Long story short his mates were in town and had gotten a hold of his phone. I should have caught on when he texted he wanted to see me....naked. But me being the fool said I wanted to meet up too. A lot of phone tossing with me actually talking to his mates before finally speaking (read: yelling) at Kanger after he told me he hadn't texted me any of it and after he hung up once I started crying. I told him again that he was fucked up and played mind games. Then I hung up on him after asking if him and his friends were 12 years old. A whole bottle of wine will make you do/say crazy things. Mandy helped console me all the way in San Francisco and talked me down (much appresh). I am officially turned off and will never speak to him again. Asshole.

Home

Home was hectic but fun. I got a baseball game in, went to the doctor and dentist (where I got way too out of control with the nitrious oxide), had a girly spa day with my friends, threw a baby shower for CW and spent time with my friends and family. I went home mainly for my 10 year high school reunion, which I highly recommend! I went with all of my friends that I've known and have remained in touch with for years-many from the 1st grade. We pre-partied before hand and got there fashionably late but with enough time to talk to people we hadn't seen in 10 years. We partied it down with the DJ that played 90s hits-so much fun jamming to Paperboy's "Ditty". (I can't find it on itunes to download it-sadness!)

The COG

What can I say? He's still in the mix. Right now I'm in the mind frame of just having fun. Lord knows I've been looking in all the wrong places and finding frogs. He's different and a good distraction right now. And I know nothing between us will ever progress and become serious, so why not? I can see him on the weekdays and be on the prowl for new merchandise on the weekends. A perfect combination. A little complicated with the whole working together thing...but as you know I love good drama. :)

Work

Work is good. After going home, I realized that I really don't have any desire to come home in November when my contract is up. Which brings up the part where while I was home I didn't go into the office to talk to my boss about this to make sure he worked from his end to get me on another project here. To make matters worse, my dad's best friend, the Vice President of my department sent me a sarcastic email saying that he was sorry I didn't have the time to say hello while I was home and that he was sure my boss appreciated it, too. My dad's best friend lives in my parents neighborhood and I could have easily stopped by but didn't plan accordingly. So now I have to basically kiss people's asses in Houston and in London to get on another project. My time in London can't be over in November...I'm not ready!