I hope you all had a great holiday!
I'm back in the UK and and so glad to be back in my second home. I had a great time while at home for 2 weeks and an even
awesomer time in San Francisco with Mandy. We were up to no good and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
I've been quiet lately because I'm afraid of the responses I would get about not following your advice of going on hiatus. And while I honestly tried, I couldn't help what happened next. Call me a fool or just a helpless romantic that is
optimistic when it comes to love. I now call myself delusional.
It goes back to my birthday at the end of November. A few weeks before that, I had invited
Skully to attend because I liked him. Long story short, my birthday celebration came and I avoided him trying to meet up with my friends and I like the
plague. I wanted to enjoy my day without feeling like I had to babysit someone. And I really did have a blast with my friends. The next day however, I felt terrible that he waited for like an hour and a half for my friends and I to show up at the original meeting spot (I changed the venue at the last minute since it was raining). Since we work together, I didn't want there to be any hard feelings so I
texted to tell him I was sorry that the wires got crossed. Somehow I got roped into meeting him for drinks with him and his brother's fiance that night. That's when my feelings changed. He was a real person with cute growing up stories. He seemed different to me. So he told me things were different now. (Before remember there was the whole love triangle scenario with his ex that I wanted no part of). I voiced my concern about it again and he reassured me that he broke up with her because he could never love her...plus she was a depressed, alcoholic and had jealousy issues.
So we hung out and he called when he said he would and we went to our company party and had a blast. He spent the entire weekend with me that weekend, never going home. Then after that he spent 95% of his nights at my place before I left for the states on the 21st and he left for a month long
Moroccan surfing and France skiing adventure.
He called about 3 times the first week I was gone and right before New Year's when I was at the airport to go to San Fran. We had a good conversation and he said he would call in a couple of days.
A couple of days and a week and a half went by. Intuition is a powerful thing really. I can feel when something isn't right yet I try to tell myself that I'm just being negative. I should have listened from the beginning of my gut concern of him getting back together with the ex.
He called at noon today to tell me he couldn't see me anymore. And that he was in London and had been for a couple of days. He took so long to call
because he had to pluck the courage to tell me that he had flown back to see N and that they weren't back together but they weren't not together and that it wasn't fair for me if he continued to see me. He did this while I was at flipping work. I'm now at home. Nothing productive would come out of me being there today really. I'm reflecting on my life choices more than him really.
But still gobsmacked.
But like the others, I'll survive....again. Please don't judge to harshly.
On a side note: I called
Kanger (no answer) and had
diarrhea of
Facebook messages (no reply thank God!) on New Year's Eve night. Even had a cry fest with Mandy at 3am in the morning that I wanted Kanger sans baby and baggage. So I know I'm not 100% into Skully....but it doesn't prevent the sting and smarting.
Labels: Boys, Disappointed, Fear, Frustration, Life, London, Love, Mortification, Skully