Back on Track

Things with Graham are back to normal. We had a lot of fun last night and he was very affectionate again. I just followed his lead. We didn't end up going to the jazz bar because it was packed but he said we will have to go back another time. I like future plans! We had our own little pub crawl and grabbed some dim sum in between. He brought up last weekend "when we were inappropriate together"...hilarious! I'm looking forward to being inappropriate with him in the future! But we're taking things slow again which I like.

At the last bar he asked if he challenged me and I asked him what he meant and he was like, did all of your past boyfriends fall at your feet and I was like um no. Then I told him that he challenged me this week and that he was a bit cold...I wasn't going to bring it up but it was the perfect non threatening forum. He said he didn't mean to. Not sure what he meant by all of that. So we'll see how this week goes. I'm going to continue to follow his lead and just see where it takes us.

Square One

So we ARE going out tomorrow night. I think most of my thinking is my own insecurities about myself and me trying to figure out why he pulled back so much after being so full on the last two weeks.

I'm going to be funny, charming, sweet and nice and not bring up any of the bad feelings that I had this week. You guys are right, if he is pulling away because of my flaws then I don't want to be with him anyway.

Time will tell and I will be mirroring his actions, etc. If he holds my hand, I'll hold his. If he kisses me, I'll kiss him back. He will be making all of the moves. It's like we're back to square one.

How not to lose a guy in 13 days

-don't suggest you he go back to your house but can't spend the night...this will only make him offer for you to go back to his out of pity.

-don't make out and let him see you naked. He obviously didn't like the flaws that he saw. Especially your much needed wax on your bikini line.

-don't have nasal surgery and snore loudly in his ear because you're allergic to his goose duvet.

-don't have genetically hairy legs that once you step out of the shower from shaving you have 5 o'clock shadow...imagine what they are like wrapped around him 24 hours later...porcupinish and not pretty.

-don't walk around in just your thong as he will see what little cellulite you do have and be repulsed.

-don't wake up with day old makeup and beard burn. You are not cute.

-don't tell him that the dynamic is off and make him tell you that he wants to see you again....he doesn't which is loud and clear from his cold emails and even colder encounters during the week.

-don't try to charm him on the train ride home...this only makes it worse and emphasizes why he doesn't want to be with you.

-don't put in an email plans for Saturday that you discussed on Tuesday about where to go for dinner before seeing the jazz band. He won't return the email with whether or not you're still on or not and leave you in the grey zone.

-don't talk to someone that sits 20 feet away from you at work so that when you go to the toilet you can see he's surfing the Internet and not answering your email.

-don't talk to someone that this time last week made you feel like you were "beautiful and funny and smart and fantastic" and now this week you feel about thissmall.

It was going so well and now...just speechless.

Cruise Control

Things are fine with Graham. He (finally) emailed me this afternoon to see how the rest of my weekend was and told me he was having a bad day. That makes two of us because I was silently torturing myself with ludicrous thoughts of how it was over.

We took the train into town together before parting ways and I asked if everything was okay to which he said it was. I told him I was just making sure since we work so close together and didn't want anything to be awkward. I asked if we were still on for Saturday - he was supposed to come over and watch a movie since my flatmate is going to the REM concert and I'd have the place to myself. I told him we should take two steps back and go to watch some live music (since he plays the guitar) instead and that he could come over at a later date. No need to rush anything. And I promise to not have that sort of conversation with him again. I'm going to be charming and funny and going with the flow on Saturday. No need to get so heavy. And if he wants to see me again then fine...but I'm not forcing or controling anything.

Confusion Fusion

Graham and I went out yesterday and had a great time. We went to the Ripley's exhibit which was a waste but fun and then hung out in a pub for a couple of hours. We decided to change the scenery and go to a new pub but we couldn't find one and when we did it was last call. He was his nice, sweet self and complimentary as usual and when we were trying to decide what to do or just go home, I mentioned that he could come over to my house but not spend the night because I hadn't had to talk with my flatmate about bringing boys home. He said that he didn't want to rush anything and had no expectations and that if the time did come then he would want us to go away for the weekend. So, so romantic. So he said I could go back to his (which is an hour away)and that again no expectations were there.

So we got back to his and things were just off. He was quiet. I was quiet. He gave me a t-shirt and boxers to sleep in and I changed in the bathroom. So far, so good on not jumping each other. Then we got into his bed and started kissing and his hand gravitated to my boobage. Since I was confused about if the whole going away together included everything or just the big bang theory he clarified and said it was for the grand finale. So we continued to make out and I discovered that he is rather large and in charge. Nothing major happened (thanks to my my Aunt Flow coming early yesterday) but we were naked in his bed and I kind of feel like it was too much too soon even though we see each other everyday and have been on 3 incredible dates previously. It's just the normal course of nature of things but I felt like he was in another world and he hadn't asked to make plans with me. I told him that I thought the dynamic was off...Blame if on PMS or me crashing from my Chai Latte caffeine fix...but we now have plans for Saturday. Which is fine that I brought it up because he has asked all the other times. I'm just confused and am I going to not hear from him until I see him at work on Tuesday (we have Monday off)? Argh. And did my snoring but him off too?

On top of all of this, I saw in his living room that he is scheduled to take a Mensa test. WTF? Am I too dumb for him, too?

I'm just going to see what happens but I was just telling someone yesterday that I liked how I didn't have to question things. Guess I spoke too soon.

Keeper

This is what I was greeted with when I met Graham in Trafalgar Square before the play last night!

He hid the bouquet behind his back, gave me a kiss and presented me with them. Super cute! We had a great time and he is such a gentleman. I wore a skirt and during the play he placed his hand my thigh and stroked my skin affectionately (not sexually). He asked if I minded that he "was perving on" my legs. Too cute. We had our hands all over each other but not disgustingly so...more caressing. Very sweet. There was more kissing and it was goooooood! He told me he should have sent the email weeks ago asking me out on a date!

We have plans to meet in Piccadilly Circus tomorrow afternoon to see Ripley's Believe It or Not but he said if the weather is nice he wouldn't mind sitting in the park with a bottle of champagne. Seriously too good to be true!

I'm so dizzy

My head is spinning!

Graham and I had a great time on our date and he was soooo cute fretting at the comedy club because the first act was terrible and he said he would take me somewhere cooler if I promised to give him another chance. Luckily the last two acts were hilarious!

We stayed out until 3am just talking and kissing. We had our first kiss in a bar...I was trying to hold out (for the story or at least under a streetlamp or something equally cheesy) but our lips had other plans!

I found out he doesn't have kids and has never been married so he's traveling light on the baggage. He asked me why I wasn't taken because "your beautiful, and smart and funny and just fantastic". Swoonage. Turns out he was supposed to meet his family last Monday when we had our first date and he told his mum he had to do something life changing. (!!!) There were talks about the future and where both of us are in our lives which seems to be the same page. So we will just have to take it slow and figure out if we're as compatible as we think we are.

And honestly, I'm a little freaked out but in a good way. I haven't felt this way before. It is a bit tricky because he sits 30 feet away from me and I see him everyday and I told him I didn't want us to do anything during the day together because if we didn't work at the same company we wouldn't be able to have lunch, get coffee etc....so we don't go to each other's desks to chat but if we're in the hall at the same time we'll stop and talk.

We have plans to see a play (he likes theater, yay!) on Thursday and he's just soooo sweet! And if everything goes well (which it will) we'll hang out this weekend, too!

Dare I say that I might have a date to the wedding I'm a bridesmaid in in November...I probably just jinxed it for sure!

Seriously Excited

Like seriously, about my date with Graham Cracker Crunch tomorrow night! He wanted to grab coffee with me before I left for the day today but we couldn't because the shop was closed so he left work early to ride the tube into town together. And seriously his compliments to me couldn't be any cuter! Example: "I was playing on my new guitar last night. It's the third best thing to come out of the States" Me, "What are the top 2?" Him, "There's Jimi Hendrix at number 2 and of course you at number 1.". Yes he can have some wine with that cheese...but he says it in a genuinely joking way that is HILARIOUS!

So we're going to dinner and then a comedy club in Covent Garden. Deets to follow!

The upDATE

I don't want to jinx it but I have a good feeling about this one.

We had a great time at the Porterhouse and time flew by. This is what I learned:

• He's 34
• Very funny
• Owns his flat and renovated it
• Is half Swiss, half Brit (he wears cuff links - lover it!)
• Lived in Australia for a year and a half
• Extremely complimentary and flattering
• Boxes, surfs and plays guitar in a band
• Likes my laugh and legs - looked like a school boy when he told me this!
• Extremely witty
• Smart
• Creative
• Super cute (and good dresser) but has a dorky side, which I love since I am a dork as well!

The list goes on...We have a 2nd date on Saturday night! I'm playing it cool but I can't stop talking about him or thinking about him (might have something to do with him sitting 20 feet away)! Things could get tricky but I'm not jumping into anything and we ended the date with a kiss on the cheek. Slow and steady. Sllllloooooooooowwwwwww and steady!

Fast Forward

There I was, debating the great will Mr. Bean email me nonsense, when life got in the way and I'm glad it did. I did receive an email from a crush today but not Mr. Bean...

At lunch today, I told my friends about Crush Lite on my floor and how our eye contact and flirty sporadic chats were very intense, if only I knew his name.

Not even an hour after I got back, Graham stopped and introduced himself while I loaded paper awkwardly into the printer. He was about to walk through the door (near the printer) when he said it would be redundant for him to open it (our little joke because we always pass each other and he always holds the door open for me saying he should get a job holding doors open to which I have told him he's really good at it - hey, it's something). In my retardedness, I told him that there would be more doors for him to open. Then I thought did I just say that and before I could recover, he was gone.

Then ping! an hour later in my inbox:

Hi Texas, good to meet you this afternoon albeit without a door being opened. I was wandering if you’re free one lunchtime or evening if you would like lunch or a drink sometime? I realize it’s a bit forward and via e-mail but I’m probably out of here fairly soon as work has dried up a bit.

Graham

What?!?!?!?! I'm guessing he works contract and he's potentially leaving the company to go to another one and he wants to get to know me before he leaves. Swoon! I've never had someone pursue me like this. He obviously got my last name from somewhere, especially since I wasn't wearing a badge when we made our introductions...and he knew what department I was in, too. I like his forwardness and that he made the first move! Finally, no force needed!

So we have a date for drinks in Covent Garden (his idea and one of my favorite places) on Monday. I'm seriously booked for a week solid starting tomorrow with only Monday free so we'll see...!!! :)

Wanna be a balla...

I can't begin to tell you how exhausted I am from a great time in Juan Les Pins, France last weekend. Could have something to do with going to bed at 4am both nights then having my flight delayed 3 hours and getting in at 2am on Monday morning...more on that soon. Remember the great "we should grab a drink cause we're neighbors" doh moment to Mr. Bean when he called to apologize last week that he couldn't go to my party. I hadn't seen him since then until I bumped into him on the stairs yesterday. Luckily I was looking t-a-n and told him I had just gotten back from France and he told me of his Norway travels. He then asked where I lived exactly and I asked him and while we aren't exactly neighbors we are close enough and share the same tube stop. He queried about my local pubs and said we should grab that drink. Since it has been mainly me...okay ALL me making the moves (to no avail I might add) I told him to email me to sort something out. And okay I might have said "you have my email" and made the typing action with my hands (dork, yes I know this). Woulda, coulda, shoulda said, "cool, shoot me an email and we'll sort something out". Same thing, right? Or no?

So we'll see. I ran into him again today but didn't really get a chance to talk to him since I was with other peeps.

Also on a side note: Crush #2 may have called me a "Naughty Girl" when he asked about my weekend in France and I told him it was fun with lots of antics...drunken antics. Yeah, I didn't know what to do with that comment...