Horoscope

You're getting sick of the scenery around you -- it's time to make travel plans.

Nailed it. Luckily, I am going to be able to change the scenery and be distracted for a while. I leave tomorrow for Houston to be a bridesmaid in my good friend's wedding on Saturday. I'm only there for the weekend so I will be thrown into running around like a chicken with it's head cut off trying to get everything done - bridal luncheons, rehearsal dinners, manicures/pedicures, shopping! I'm in a funk and I think being around family and friends (that actually think I'm great) will help.

It's like a dark cloud is following me around and I need to remove myself from the situation(s) and recharge my batteries. I hope to come back and start acting like myself again because even I'm getting sick of me.

A league of their own

Last night, while volunteering at our annual Junior League charity fundraiser, I found myself surrounded by women (my age) living the life I've always wanted. They sported they're ginormous Tiffany's rocks and talked about the men behind the diamonds that adore them. Living their perfect lives, with their perfect husbands, in their perfect flats, with their gorgeous, perfect 2.5 children, going on their perfect holidays, in their perfect clothes, with their perfect hair.

I just want an ounce of that (the love part) but instead I sabotage anything good that comes my way.

I hope one day to be a part of that "league" but right now it all seems very doubtful.

Daggers and Tears

I'm going through a roller coaster of emotions. One minute I'm fine and have the everything happens for a reason attitude. The next I'm teary and don't understand the universe and the hurt that I'm going through. It didn't help that today, Graham's old cube mate asked how he was doing and I said that I wasn't sure. The guy literally acted like someone DIED. He was so sorry and didn't understand since we were getting on so well. Me either, I wanted to say but didn't.

What I don't understand is how someone could tell me that they were willing to give it a second try then disappear (aside from an email from his new work) then respond back to my email a week later and accept plans to meet up only to send another (harsh) email saying: I don't see this going anywhere. I don't feel the chemistry that I look for in a long term thing. I don't know what else to say. Don't you know if there is chemistry or not in the first month not THREE months? And wouldn't you think he could have spoken up to tell me this when he had plenty of opportunities to do so? It's my very own version of Carrie Bradshaw's post it note break up. What goes through a guy's head to be so impersonal after 3 months of dating that he can just toss me aside like that and just disappear into the sunset without ever looking back? I can understand an email after a month of casual dating but that...it baffles me. Of course I wrote back: You could start by not breaking up with someone over the phone or again over email at flipping work. I'm sorry you couldn't be a 34 year old man and do it the proper way. Maybe in your next endeavor you won't lead people on either. I'm also sorry that you feel this way and couldn't give it the second chance it deserved. No wonder you're still not married. Add all of the confusing things about marriage and kids (we walked by a daycare his last week and he said "our kids can go there" wtf?) Screw with my head much?

I just want to fast forward and get over it already but it's only been a week and I'm just sad at what could have been but pissed at the person he turned out to be. And equally furious that it was all over an email.