Just call me Gwyneth

I just got back from my 3rd ever acupuncture appointment.

Everything was going as usual. Tiny needle prick that doesn't hurt on my back here. Tiny needle prick there. And then holy hell, a sensation that I can only imagine feels like those super sucker fish that suck the algae off of whales and sharks on my lower back FIVE times, with no warning I might add. For the next 30 minutes.

Cupping.

It hurt but also felt really, really good.

I am now sporting 5 round hickeys on my lower back with no sign of them disappearing any time soon.

Now if only I was married to Chris Martin. Sigh.

Se habla Espanol!

My 2010 started off with an embarrassing bang. I went home for Christmas for a week and then came back to London to ring in the new year in style. My friend Shelby belongs to a swanky members only club in Mayfair and we decided to get a table for the night. Since our regular gang of Americans were still in the states and her boyfriend was in Switzerland, we had that much more alcohol between us. And drink it we did. Starting with half a bottle of champagne each for the pre-party at her (boyfriend’s) penthouse flat in Belgravia, a super strong vodka soda that we could light our breath on fire and topping it all off with our bottle service of Croatian vodka that tasted like nail polish remover. Needless to say we were housed. They played really good music and we danced the night away. Shelby captured the (unwanted) attention of an English accented Mexican fellow who bought us shots of tequila and I showed them all how it was done. I vaguely remember calling my and Mark’s (aka Saf) mutual friend to get his number since I had erased it from my phone. I don’t know if you remember but I have a problem with drunk texting and dialing. For some unknown reason she gave it to me after I promised that I would only text him “Happy New Year!”. She has now learned her lesson that I also tell white lies when drunk. I saved the number to my phone and proceeded to text him 5 times with two “where are you?”, one blank text, one “are you alive?” and one “dude” text. I have no recollection of getting home but thankfully I did and I woke up in my birthday suit with my clothes from the night before strung all over the flat. Classy.

The next day and the day after New Year’s Day, I suffered from the worst hang over ever. Two days of hell. I checked my phone to assess the damage and found the text messages and also that I had called him as well. I agonized over the fact of how obnoxious I was with the texts and how I showed how I can’t handle my liquor once again (there’s a back story with him that may or may not involve me hammered and grinding him up against a wall). Monday morning rolled around and I figured out that the text messages that I had sent actually had an extra number in it so therefore my texts didn’t go through! Eureka! I was sooo ecstatic that he didn’t see them and that he just had a missed call from me and that he would think I dialed him by accident.

An hour later my bubble was burst when I received this email from him:

Hey!
Happy new year.

Do you by any chance recall phoning me about 5 times and leaving me messages in Spanish on my voicemail?? Haha – classic! I didn’t even get drunk on new year’s – I wanted to be fresh and non-hung-over for skiing

Um…so much worse than the original texts! And speaking another language! WTF? I guess I had been speaking Spanish to the Mexican guy and it carried over to me leaving messages. When I stopped laughing and dying of mortification, I knew I had to write him back but not seem all eager beaver and like I was in love with him since I was clearly thinking of him on New Year’s Eve of all nights!

I wrote back:

Who knew the combination of champagne and vodka could make me so bilingual! Haha – sorry about that. Hope you had a good time skiing. Happy New Year!

And scene.

Skully is coming to London in February (he’s working in Dubai) and has organized drinks which I’m sure will include Mark.

I think I'll greet him with “Hola! Como estas!”.

Who does this?

From: Crazy IT guy that licks his hands after sneezing (WTF?)
Sent: 21 January 2010 07:00
To: Coworker
Subject: Whistling

I am fairly sure you are the culprit. But if not then my apologies and please forward onto the actual culprit.

Do you realise how distracting your whistling is? Numerous times in the last few months (and beyond) my concentration on important and critical tasks that affect the health and well being of our company have been interrupted by incessant, distracting and irritating whistling in the room. I have asked before, and I ask again. _Please_ can you stop whistling on our floor. This is an open plan office, and your noises do affect the people around you and the jobs they are doing. (I know I am not the only person distracted by the whistling.)

Thanks.

-Crazy IT guy that licks his hands (LICKS HIS HANDS!) after sneezing (again seriously, WTF?)

Let your net always be cast and in the pool in which you least expect, there will be a fish.
-Ovid

2010...Let the games begin!

Wow...it's been awhile. And oh how I've missed you. I promise I'll be back...even if you guys have all but disappeared. I need an outlet to get stuff out...whether good or bad. Just bought a netbook so will be writing more. Promise.

Happy New Year! I think it's going to be a good one.