See you on the flip side

Well hello there. Lots has been happening since I got back from the states a couple weeks ago. Firstly, it turns out that my grandfather has Stage 4 cancer and it is in his lungs, hip and lymph nodes. He is undergoing radiation and chemo and seems to be in good spirits. He hasn't had any bad reactions to the chemo which is good and I hope he starts to feeling better but I know that it will get worse before it gets better. I'm trying to stay positive because I feel like it really is mind over matter.

Secondly, I'm going in to the hospital tomorrow to give birth to my fibroids via c-section. I'm super duper nervous but in the last couple of weeks I've been increasingly more and more uncomfortable. Just want the surgery to be over with and the healing to begin. My mom got in today and will be here for the next 2 1/2 weeks to help me. I'm off work for a month and while that sounds great, I know it will be extremely painful. Ahhhhhh!

Thirdly, on the boy front it's kind of eh... Saf is about to loose his job and then go traveling (as we had already discussed) and can't start a relationship right now knowing that he's leaving. We both handled it very well and he really is a great guy. I know I'll see him in the future because we have so many mutual friends but also because he wants to stay in touch and already has by checking on me before my surgery. Richie and I went out on Thursday night and while I had fun, I just know in the back of my mind that he's a bit of a player. I told him about my surgery and he said he would come over and cook for me so I'll just have to wait and see when and if he follows through. I'm also in the mindset that I can't really start anything right now because I'm going to be on house arrest (not really) but out of commission for a while. So my feeling right now is indifferent. Richie is a very good kisser but he totally gave me beard burn to the point that my lips are peeling like crazy. My mom looked at me funny and asked what were wrong with my lips and what I'd put on them to make them flake. That was an awkward turtle conversation!

So I'm sure I'll be blogging a lot more since I won't be so busy running around trying to get everything done before I'm moving like a snail. Hope all is well and see you on the flip side.

I retract my last statement

On my mom handling my trip to Italy really well. Seems she has had a delayed reaction to the whole thing. I spoke with her this morning and she told me how she isn't sleeping well because she is afraid I am preggers. And that I should be the one to tell my dad. And she can't believe I "treated" myself that way...i.e. sleeping with someone that isn't my boyfriend. WTF? She told me all of this while I was at work and in an open concept environment therefore my righteous anger could not be satisfied on telling her off. I told her I had to go and hung up.

This is why I always regret telling her things. She throws whatever it is back in my face. And as if I didn't feel bad enough about the whole italy fiasco she has to put salt in my bleeding wounds. Argh!

The mom knows

I had to break down and tell her. I kept thinking something bad was going to happen to my parents all week to the point where I would wake up in a cold sweat and pray that nothing would indeed happen. This was spurred by her thinking I was down about being in London instead of Gianluca. She took it so much better than I thought.

TC: I have something I need to tell you...
Mom: ummm.....yeeeesssss??? What did you do?
TC: Well you know i turned 28 last week and I'm a grown up and I'm talking to you right now and I'm alive, right?
Mom: Yes...What is it TC?
TC: I went to Italy last weekend and that is why I was so vague [last weekend].
Mom: ------
TC: And I didn't lie I just kept it from you guys because I didn't want you to worry.
Mom: okay...have you kept other things from me?
TC: No, this was the first thing and I couldn't sleep all this week and so I needed to get it off my chest.
Mom: You aren't going to be pregnant are you? YOuaren'tpregnantareyou???
TC: Noooooo. I'm not talking to you about that but I'm a very careful person.
Mom: Well I'm just disappointed that you are having casual sex.
TC: I didn't have sex with him when he was in Houston in July (because condoms were not present) and I've been talking to him for the past 6 months so I hardly call it a one night stand...[I call it a wham bam thank you but I'm going to my girlfriend's house now stand-but I digress]
Mom: Well as long as you aren't pregnant.
TC: Again, I'm not... (please do not let me be preggers with the asshole's child!)
Mom: I can't find my makeup bag.
TC: Mom?
Mom: Right sorry. So will you sleep better now?
TC: Yes!

She totally ADD'd out and was totally cool about it. I finally was able to get my frustration out about how I thought it was going to go another way and now he is out of my system and why am I still alone while everyone else is paired off...The typical poor pitiful me routine. She made me feel better and told me to enjoy life now and not to worry about finding someone and that the right person would find me.

It's just easier said than done....