The Lists

Melissa tagged us to think about sex and life; here is what I came up with....

Top 5 celebrities with whom I would like to get down and dirty (in a very particular order):

1. Matthew McConaughey
2. Josh Duhamel
3. Topher Grace
4. Vince Vaughn
5. Luke Wilson

20 Things I want to do before I die (in no particular order):

1. Be content with my career
2. (by) Owning my own business
3. Not worry about money...ever
4. Live in Europe for a while
5. Become friends with a celebrity- maybe one of my top 5
6. Write a book
7. To be turned into a movie
8. Find "The One"
9. Have babies
10. Own a house
11. Scuba dive in Australia
12. Learn how to scuba dive and not freak out
13. Throw out the first pitch at a major league baseball game
14. Go to a Superbowl, World Series and NBA playoff game
15. Run 5 miles straight- without stopping
16. Get in the best shape of my life
17. Start a homeless shelter
18. Hang glide off a cliff into the ocean
19. Ride in a hot air balloon
20. Get over my fear of heights

Do you know the muffin man, the muffin man...

It was brutally called to my attention last weekend that I am in possession of a "Muffin Top". Now I don't consider myself large and in charge, but when wearing certain tight jeans and a certain sexy satin top, the muffin top persona takes hold... -Note to self: NEVER wear this combination again.

I was looking HOTT that night, and as long as no one grazed their hand across my mid section and felt first hand the ginormous buldge, I was good to go. I had a couple or five vodka cranberries and I was a dancing machine, throwing caution to the wind. I was talking to guys left and right and dancing with them, all the while sucking in so hard core that I'm surprised I didn't pass out. Granted there was touching on the spare tire region, but in my intoxication I somehow thought that my muffin top had magically disappeared. On more than one occasion after dancing for a while, guys would tell me they were "going to the bar to get a drink" and when they didn't return, I would discover them talking to another girl. WTF? I continued dancing with friends when suddenly it occurred to me that my muffin top was the culprit and the girls they were now talking to were sans muffin tops (Or so it seemed in my drunken stupor). I quickly removed myself from the situation, left my friends and hopped in a cab where I believe I told the driver all about my man troubles because of my damn muffin top. Yeah that's why I don't have a boyfriend...

So the moral of the story is to make sure my stomach and love handles don't overflow from my pants the next time I go out...Oh and to jump start my exercise program where it includes a million situps!

Valentines, schmalentines...

I'm not bitter, I promise...she says holding her fingers tightly crossed. Just because it seems like EVERYONE I know has a special someone for Valentine's Day. I haven't had a real valentine since my "second" senior year in college. Thinking about that day now, it was my best one yet!

His name was John and he was my friend's brother. I met him the weekend before out on 6th Street in Austin with his sister and we instantly clicked. I proceeded, in my intoxication, to make out with him at every bar we hit, all the while trying not to let his sister witness the debauchery.

On Valentine's Day, he showed up at my doorstep with a single red rose and a smile on his handsome face. He made plans for us to go to a local Jazz club to get to know each other over cocktails and good music. The intimate space coupled with candles flickering on each table made for a very romantic evening. Our sense of humor matched each other and we had such a great time. We walked back to his car later that evening and he opened the door for me, but before letting me get in the car, he grabbed me and kissed me passionately. It was the kind of kiss where all of your senses are aware of the situation, making it possibly the best kiss I've ever had! Needless to say we went back to my place where we kissed some more and cuddled...no joke- it was the perfect combination for a perfect date. We were together a couple months after that but the romance and passion soon faded as that Valentine's Day drifted farther away.

Now in 2006, without a prospect in sight, I only have that Valentine's Day to reference. I hope someday I will find the right person to not only make my next one perfect but every day thereafter.

Pet Peeve

My biggest pet peeve in life has been when someone tells me to "smile". Don't get me wrong. I am a very content person. I laugh everyday. I am not a dark introverted person. But I do NOT constantly have a goofy smile like a beauty pageant queen or something.

So yesterday when the nicest man I work with asked me if "everything was okay" because I "looked soooo unhappy" my first reaction was to crawl under a rock and die. I never thought I cared what other people think but since I am obviously conveying to the world that I am a miserable human being, it got to me. It made me extremely self conscience and then it just made me mad. I mean what if something drastic had happened in my personal life and he just called more attention to it. Heaven forbid a family member was sick or my dog died...they don't know that so why say ANYTHING. It's like telling women they look fat or tired. I mean who says that without putting their foot in their mouth? Something’s you just note to yourself and don't put to verbal words.

Getting to work this morning, I was determined to put it behind me. I took a deep breath and decided I wasn't going to be the image of "happiness" or anything but I was going to make an extra effort to show the nicest man I work with that I wasn't depressed. Not even 10 minutes after walking in the door (I get to work at 7am and I am NOT a morning person, while most people I work with get into work at 5am) another man, whom I had seen, smiled and waved to from down the hall, peaked over my cube and said "Good Morning Sunshine" to which I replied "Good Morning" and he continued to tell me how "Unhappy" I looked and I said "I'm not really a morning person and I don't usually wake up until around 9am" as nicely as I could.

Now this sort of observation from middle age men really has started to take a toll on my self esteem and given me a complex on how the world views me. I told friends that know the real me, not the professional me at ungodly hours of the morning, this story and they suggested the next time anyone suggests something so rude, I say "Huh, because I was just thinking how ugly you looked but thought it would be better not to say anything. See ya later." Another friend told me to growl at them...I might just try that.